Win or Die!

[closetd0rk.livejournal.com]

Name: Caitlin
How did you find out about the community? If it's through an LJ user, please tell us who it is (individual user if possible, not just a community name!): I was perusing boarsandwhores and happened to notice you guys were linked with them.
Age: 23
Location: Maine, USA
Occupation: I’m a teller at a credit union




All About You

1. Describe your ideal house/home. Please go into as much detail as possible, and be sure to include your ideal geographical location in the description!.

I’ve never put much thought into an ideal geographical location for a permanent settlement in all honesty. However, I have a love for East Asia and the Caribbean as well as my native New England area, so perhaps it’s not very important to me? I think I’d be happiest traveling and having many homes in my lifetime rather than picking one specific spot.

On the other hand, I do have an ideal when it comes to living accommodations… I like the idea of large sprawling estates and mansions, but truly I’m most comfortable in a small space made for two people. I still regret not purchasing the tiny two bedroom cabin by the lake that I looked at last year. I love skylights and windows that let in lots of light, but I still require curtains for privacy. A fireplace or woodstove if I lived in a cooler climate would be perfect, because nothing is more wonderful than curling up next to a fire on a snowy evening. I also think it’s prudent to mention that I dream of living by the water. The sea is preferable, but lakes and rivers are nice too.

Houses that have character are what appeals to me. A place that has shelves built into the walls or sloped ceilings would catch my fancy, or anything that looks like it came out of a fairytale story. My personal taste in furnishings has been called “French,” but luckily for my boyfriend no one has ever allowed me the complete liberty of decorating a room. Recycled art or repurposed things as furniture are also appealing to me.

2. Imagine you’re given the classic opportunity: a genie granting you three wishes. What would you wish for? Please be as elaborate as you can. Wishing for more wishes is not permitted!

This is going to make me sound like a terribly greedy person, but I would first wish for money. My life would be so much easier if I didn’t have to work anymore and could afford my own living accommodations without worry. I could work on my writing, pursue pastimes that I rarely have time for such as sketching, bird watching and traveling. Overall, I believe my life would be greatly improved if there was some more cash flowing into my bank account. I don’t think I’m alone in this belief either.

Secondly I would wish for equality for humankind. Not just where ones gender or sexual preferences are concerned, but also race, religion and background. People make such a fuss these days over what someone did in their past or who came from where- it bothers me! I think if we took more time to think about what we had in common rather than what’s different about one another then the world would be a lot more pleasant to live in.

For my third wish, I would wish for the ability to fly. I grew up dreaming of someday having a super power of some kind, and I used to have frequent dreams of turning into birds. Sadly, I grew up and realized that scientifically, this was never going to be a possibility for me- at least not without the aid of a man made machine. So- with a magical wish, I could gain my ultimate magical power. Think of how easily I could get from place to place if there was no traffic to worry about!

3. In your life so far, what accomplishment are you the most proud of? Why? You can list more than one if you have trouble deciding. ;)

In my family, I was considered the “smart” child. I say that in quotations because while I agree that I don’t necessarily lack intelligence, I am certainly nothing special in a world where there are people who have invented machines that can get us into outer space. My parents made the mistake of believing that I’m a smart cookie because I read more than I socialized in my youth and because I could do my schoolwork without a whole lot of strain. HOWEVER, they failed to notice a) my overall disinterest in an organized education, and b) my intolerance of the “busy work” that I felt was given to me more often than not in the guise of homework.

I still did my best to please them, because for most of my life I’ve been a bit of a pushover. I never liked confrontation or disagreements, and I figured that I could get where I wanted to despite evidence everywhere that an education doesn’t guarantee everyone their dream jobs. Also, arguing with my mother is exhausting, and like most dutiful daughters I prefer not to stress her more than I need to, because I appreciate the fact that she works two jobs to accommodate our lifestyle.

The accomplishment I’m most proud of as it turns out, is the accomplishment of finally speaking my mind. I made the decision to drop out of my university because I didn’t feel like I was doing anything useful there. I was getting in debt for no reason. Sure, someday I’d like to take a few classes to improve my grammar and syntax- but did I need a college degree to write fiction? I met three authors through my creative writing classes, and only one of them had a degree. It was not in English. So I told my parents how stressed college was making me, and that I felt like I was getting nothing out of it. Seeing the disappointment in their eyes was difficult. I would have been the only one in my family to get a four year degree in anything you see, and therefore they were proud to tell everyone that I was a college student. Regardless, I followed my instincts and ended up in a job that I don’t hate where I have an opportunity to advance my career through self paced classes and eventually, I’ll still be able to work on my writing.
It seems like a story about someone who failed, but I prefer to look at it as a story of someone who decided to blaze their own trail.

4. Which of the following is most important to you: Love, Money, Knowledge, Family, Friendship, Adventure, or Pleasure? Which is the least important to you? Please explain why for each choice.

Pleasure is the most important of these choices for me. I find pleasure in the company of those I love, and when I am on a particularly exciting adventure I gain pleasure also. Pleasure is certainly more rewarding after a hard week of toiling away at my 9-5 job, but it makes my life worth living. Friendship is a close second for me. I am never happier than when I am in the company of a small few of those whom I have known for a long time and get along with well. I dearly love to laugh, and I like to surround myself with people who have great senses of humor.

Family is the least important thing of these options. Just because you are born into a group of people doesn’t mean that you have a lot in common. To be sure, my close family members, that is to say, my mother, my sister, my father, are extremely important to me- but family in general? No. They do not understand me, nor I them. I care about them deeply, but we do not concern ourselves with each other’s lives very much. We live far away from one another and the closeness that I wish I could have with a family is simply not possible. I wish for it, but I have never had it.

5. What's one quote (or passage, song lyric, etc.) that effectively describes you and your values? Explain.

“When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.” –C.S Lewis

Despite being a grown woman, I still cherish many of the dreams from my childhood. I fantasize, create stories with fairies in them, and in general don’t always live in the real world. I don’t think that to be a grown up means you must discard your imagination, and yet that is what people have tried to tell me my whole life. Some realists regard me as strange or awkward because I have a love of anything that is magical in nature or that can’t be explained. Having these things in my life is comforting. How boring the world would be if we knew everything there is to know. I have decided to be a grown up in my own way. I keep stuffed animals in my room, I love Disney movies, and I still like fairytales. I think C.S Lewis and I might have had a few things in common.

6. How do you manage your money? On that note, how important is money/financial security to you? Go into as much detail as you can.

Despite working with money all day long, I don’t manage mine as effectively as I’d like to. I’m proud to say that I’m putting some aside for retirement etc. but I have a tendency to do a lot of impulsive purchasing. I love clothes, makeup and perfumes and I don’t mind dropping the money to have them. Do I regret these impulsive buys? Sometimes…

I think the fact that having more money as my first of my three wishes is pretty insightful as to how important money could become to me. However, having lived with “just enough” for my entire life I can say the lack of funds has never affected me negatively. I think that right now money is only important as a means to have a good time every other weekend and to give me the essentials I need for a comfortable lifestyle. I would adore having more cash, but if I never have more than “just enough” I won’t have any regrets. I can still have a fulfilling life. As far as financial security for the future, I think it’s important for me to be able to retire, especially since many of my family members have lived to be one hundred years old and older. I don’t want to have to worry about the future, I want to know that I can retire and relax.

7. Name (and elaborate on) some of your hobbies. What are your favorite things to do outside of school/the office?

Recently I have become interested in bird watching. Don’t ask me why I love it so much, I hardly know myself. In general I really like animals of all shapes and sizes, so I suppose I would naturally come into some sort of outdoorsy wildlife observing at some point. It’s almost inevitable, with my disposition.

Reading is a hobby of mine (I bet I’m not alone in this community). I used to go through a book or two a week in my high school years, but college put a stop to that for a short time. In fact, discovering ASOIAF is what brought me back to my love of reading, and I am encouraged to find that not all new popular literature is akin to the Twilight saga. It gives me hope for humanity. ;)

Fashion is something I’m sort of into. Shopping is fun for me, and while I don’t exactly follow all the popular trends I have been noted for my sense of style. More than one person has referred to me as “classy,” and I think I have more of a retro look about me than some. I definitely like wearing dresses and skirts as opposed to pants, but I now own more than one pair of jeans for the first time in years. I find casual wear useful again as I’ve rediscovered my love of being outdoors. My passion for cosmetics and fragrances can also fall under this category. My most recent favorite scent is a lovely and low key ginger and lemon blend from Origins, a perfect twist for the autumn season. I am also currently favoring Daisy by Marc Jacobs.

The anime or otaku culture is also a part of my life. I go to conventions, cosplay and generally enjoy being a huge nerd. I made the mistake of trying to hide it from my coworkers, but then I decided a while ago that being myself was better than putting on a face just to gain friends without them dressing me in awkward stereotypes.

8. Name three things you are afraid of. Explain.

1. Bees. It’s a phobia, there’s not much more to explain than that. It’s irrational, but I would sooner run out into traffic rather than have one near me. In fact, I have run out into traffic before to avoid contact.

2. Failure. I’m sure it’s something that everyone faces, but I am terrified of looking back on my life and realizing that I never did anything substantial with it. Not that I can’t live an uneventful life and be a good person, but I have big plans for myself and a lot of hard work to go through in order to achieve what I want.

3. My last fear is more of a generalized worry about my dog, Aria. I’ve only had her for four months, and I love her more than I thought I could ever love an animal. She comes with some big worries though. I’ve already had to take her to the emergency vet because she eats EVERYTHING, and because my family lets their friends bring their dogs over my heart stops whenever she meets a new pet. Every dog she meets is likely to be bigger and stronger than her because she’s a five pound Pomeranian. I watch her as best I can, but I can’t be there for every new introduction and I’m terrified that someone is going to have too much confidence in the “friendliness” of their pet and things will get out of hand.

9. Name (and elaborate on) your top three BEST and top three WORST qualities (personality-related, not physical). Please answer as fully as you can, as this is an important question.

+I care about others: And I mean that I really care about the feelings of others. Not the fake sympathy that you sometimes see when people don’t want to appear as though they are selfish. I sometimes get the feeling that I have a hard time connecting with people, but whenever my heart twists when someone is in trouble or feeling low, I know that I’m not completely detached from the human race. My boyfriend has commented before that he loves this about me, he claims that I am kind and good for no reason other than that I want everyone around me to be happy. This is true, I think. I hate disharmony, and in my ideal world no one would have hurt feelings because of the carelessness of a spoken word.

+I see the best in everyone: Once, a friend told me that I was too nice to everybody. She was right. In my haste to make everyone feel at ease around me, I ignored when they said or did things that made me uncomfortable. I was taken advantage of and walked over as a result. However, even though I now know how to balance the extremities of my kindnesses, I still find redeeming qualities in just about everybody. Perhaps others may view it as me excusing the behavior of others, but I like to try to visualize what makes people do the things that they do. I’ll never understand the actions of my peers if I don’t try to put myself in their shoes. For instance, we have a friend in my group of pals who is currently causing a lot of hard feelings. Many feel that it would be best to just oust her from all the gatherings until she can behave. I, on the other hand choose to allow her to express herself. Knowing that she comes from an unsteady family background and fears the loss of those close to her has caused me to realize that she is simply acting out because she fears losing our friendship. I am not excusing her terrible behavior, but I am able to see that she loves us so much that she isn’t able to act rationally when faced with what she views as ostracism.

+I am open minded: I’m the sort of person who will often do something just to be able to say they have done it. I crave new experiences and seek out new places. I love to travel and trying new food is fun for me. I not only tolerate the alternate lifestyles of others but I am interested in them. A friend of mine is extremely into the organic food scene and much of her life revolves around her newfound love of nutrition and exercise. She practices reiki and knows all of the hole-in-the-wall restaurants with unique dishes. I’m proud of everything she does and welcome the new experiences she shares with me. I do my best not to judge people based on limited knowledge, and I would never laugh at someone’s beliefs no matter how skeptical I felt inside. I don’t consider myself highly religious, but that doesn’t mean I don’t respect the beliefs of my friends. When a Christian friend of mine said that he prayed for me at night I was extremely touched. When another friend told me she thought I would go to Hell when I died because I identified as bisexual I was sad that she felt that way, but I was also glad that she still wanted my companionship.

-I am dishonest: Not about the things that matter, usually. For the most part I lie to make other people feel good. You know, the little white lies about how great a trenchcoat looks on someone who reeeeeally should have worn a shorter cut jacket because they appear as though they’re drowning in fabric. I do feel terribly about the other things I lie about. Like when I feign interest in the lives of people whom I could care less about, or when I say I don’t want to go out clubbing because I don’t feel well when in reality I’m simply tired or trying to avoid someone. I prefer honesty, but sometimes the dishonesty gets me so much further and helps to discourage hard feelings.

-I am envious of others, and not always for the same reasons…: This has a lot to do with my sister. Neither of us are bad looking, I rarely look in the mirror and despair over my reflection. But my sister is exceptionally pretty in the conventional sense and very much the social butterfly. To make matters worse, she’s great with children and has an awesome sense of humor. While I’m proud to have such a great sister, I still get eaten up with envy when people are clearly more taken with her than they are with me. I have the type of personality that’s hard to appreciate unless you get close to me, I don’t give my friendship out to just anyone, although I can be friendly enough. And as a result I can be seen as cold or snobby when I’m really just more guarded in social situations. One of my best friends made me similarly envious. She made friends easily, and once we got to the college scene she suddenly had less time for me and became chummy with another girl. I was hurt, and jealous that so many people flocked to her. To be sure, she had her negative qualities too, but she was so amazing at small talk and remembering things about others that everyone was naturally drawn to her.

-I am a loner: This may come off as ironic after what I just said about being jealous of a popular friend, but I prefer smaller groups of people when I hang out with friends, and as a rule large parties with me in attendance are far and few between. I stopped having birthday parties at age eleven. It’s not that I’m not friendly, I just enjoy solitude. My dog and my boyfriend are my companions of choice, and they are the ones who know me and understand me best. I can be myself around them and I never feel awkward. I wish I could be more outgoing, and I wish that I enjoyed social situations more, but they aren’t as pleasurable to me as they seem to be to everyone else. When my friends first started to enjoy getting trashed I failed to see the magical splendor of alcohol. (Although I still partook of it from time to time). We have a bunch of house guests over right now, and all I can think about is how glad I’ll be when they and the noise and chaos they brought with them are finally gone.





A Song of Ice and Fire Related

1.How many books from the series have you completed?

I’m currently about a quarter of the way through A Dance With Dragons.

2.Who are your favorite three characters in the series? Why?
I’m not sure if it’s a coincidence that all my favorite characters are women. I generally end up liking female characters more than males no matter what I read.

Daenerys Targaryen: My guy friends make fun of me for liking Daenerys so much, but as soon as I saw how she was developing as a character I was hooked. No one has ever replaced her as my top favorite. She literally went from a meek and compliant young girl who had a hard time raising her voice to a commanding leader. And the mother of dragons thing? Oh, hell yes. That’s awesome. The only thing I don’t care for is her taste in men after Drogo. I feel that she often seems more interested in what a man looks like rather than his personality. Luckily, her good sense often tempers her attractions (or at least it has as far as I have read). I can also attribute whatever failings she has as a character to her youth, and conversely, her youthfulness just makes her more appealing as a character. The fact that such a young girl has been able to accomplish so much really draws my interest. Her storyline has been the most captivating for me. I particularly love that she generally doesn’t sacrifice her personal ideals in order to fit in with whomever she happens to be with at the time. She did her best as khaleesi to stop the rape of innocent women, and she freed the slaves she encountered and allowed them to follow her and her army.

Brienne of Tarth: In a world where a maid has to be attractive and feminine to get anywhere, even if she is of noble birth, Brienne breaks all the stereotypes of what it means to be a woman in Westeros. Many of the other female characters who have battle skills or status and power are also attractive in some way. Even Arya is described as being good looking by some, if not a little boyish. Brienne is not comely, she’s often mistaken for a man because of her stature, and nearly every man she meets thinks of nothing but how “ugly” she is when they first meet her. And yet, she’s one of the most honorable characters in the entire series. Even Ned Stark didn’t move me as much as Brienne of Tarth. Her simple love for Renly and desire to be near him and protect him because she couldn’t be with him romantically certainly won my heart. One of my favorite relationships in the series was the one between her and Jaime. Here I use relationship in the broader sense, although the fangirl in me prayed for more to transpire between them. And of course, Brienne appeals to me as a strong woman who forged her own path despite the difficulties that came with it. I love everything about her.

Arya Stark I like Arya for many of the same reasons that I like Brienne and Daenerys. She’s a strong young girl who doesn’t conform to the stereotypes of her sex. However she also has all the impudence and fearlessness that comes with being a child. Despite constantly coming into contact with death, she rarely dwells on her own mortality, but rather becomes obsessed with the very adult idea of revenge. I love it. At first I was a little concerned when the first few chapters with Arya involved her displaying her hatred of sewing and her love of playing with swords. I decided that she was simply going to be another cliché of the tomboy who was going to continue to rant about how trapped she felt as the daughter of a noble house and wouldn’t do much else. How wrong I was. Arya is so much more than that. She develops the ability to blend almost anywhere she goes, and I expect to see great things from her later.

Honorable mentions go to: Tyrion Lannister, Jaime Lanniser, Sandor Clegane, Samwell Tarly, Jaqen H’ghar and Sansa Stark.

3.Who are your least favorite three characters in the series? Why?

Joffrey Baratheon: I understand that he is not a popular character with many readers or fans of the television series, and I’m afraid I’ll have to join the crowd. I literally cheered when he choked to death. Some people (both characters in the books and readers) would try and have me believe that he was a dick because his mom made him that way, but I’m not fooled. He had many of the tell tale signs of a sociopath. No empathy for others, no understanding of consequences, the ability to be extremely charming when the occasion arose, and above all, a love of watching others suffer. I don’t forget the story about the kittens, and I think it should have been in the television series. No matter who raised this little wart, he was going to grow up to be an asshole.

Theon Greyjoy I should have felt sympathy for him. He grew up in a house where he felt alienated, and when he went home his own family essentially rejected him. Perhaps he could have been happy if he hadn’t tried to take Winterfell, but he went there anyway. I don’t know. I just feel like everything he did he did for the wrong reasons. In the end he couldn’t even salvage what was left of his honor. As a character, his boastings and desire for glory that always fell so very flat left a bad taste in my mouth, and his treatment of women- although not terribly out of the ordinary compared to others in Westeros certainly sealed my negative judgment.

Lysa Tully: This is a character that I did feel bad for, sympathized with, and hated anyway. She was just so darn creepy! Poor Sansa couldn’t even have peace of mind when she finally escaped to be with her aunt. The woman was crazy, and her obsession? A man. Of all the things that drove her crazy, it was some lost love from her childhood that never fully came to fruition. Typical, and extremely weak in my opinion. The sister rivalry was more interesting, and more relatable for me. It might have made me more sympathetic toward her rather than repulsed by her- but the way she coddled her son was repellant, and then she blindly ignored Petyr’s sketchy advances toward Sansa, instead accusing her innocent and traumatized niece of being a slut. It was thus that she moved ahead of Robert on my shit list.

Honorable mentions go to: Robert Baratheon, Walder Frey, Tywin Lannister, and Shae.

4.#1 Favorite moment in all of ASOIAF so far? Why?

When Daenerys “purchases” her army of Unsullied in Astapor. I don’t think anything else was as awesome for me as reading about how she tricked the Astapori leaders and basically sacked the entire city. I had no idea how she was going to get out of giving one of her dragons to them, and I had been disappointed in her for giving one up until I saw what happened. I saw this as a new beginning for her. Up until now she was a leader of a somewhat weak and ragtag band, but after this she becomes quite an unstoppable force. I’m curious to see how this plays out in the television series, up until now I think they’ve been doing a great job, but this was a powerful moment in Dany’s storyline, and I don’t know if any actors will be able to give me the same elated feeling.

5. In your dream-world, how would you like to see the series end, and why?

As long as Daenerys wins the Iron Throne, I don’t have too many other particulars in mind. I’d like for the majority of my favorite characters to make it through the series alive, but that seems to be a vain hope with Mr. Martin at the wheel.

In general, even when the characters I really liked died or dropped out of the series, it never felt wrong. I believe that George R. R. Martin does a fantastic job, and I don’t presume to try and imagine a perfect ending for the series. I don’t think I’ll be let down, but I don’t intend to pin my hopes on certain characters getting their happy endings. Life isn’t one big happy ending, and ASOIAF holds true to that. In fact, even rooting for Dany feels strange at times, simply because things suddenly seem to be going her way, and there’s no way George R. R. Martin would be that direct about how the series is going to end.

Comments

[TYRELL]

[hamsterwoman]

Seeing lots of different directions here! Your accomplishment answer made me think of Targaryen; focus on pleasure, your hobbies, the mix of your wishes, the description of your house, your quote, and #1 on your negative traits list steers me towards Tyrell (but ranking family last gives me pause there). I could see an argument for the dreamier sort of Stark, too (your quote, your best traits), or Lannister, or Martell. I do feel Tyrell is strongest, but I can definitely see where the Targ votes are coming from.