win or die

[ghosted.livejournal.com]

Name: Sarah
How did you find out about the community? If it's through an LJ user, please tell us who it is (individual user if possible, not just a community name!): It's just been mentioned by a whole bunch of people in various comms I frequent. I can't think who specifically, sorry.
Age: 21
Location: England
Occupation: student




All About You

1. Describe your ideal house/home. Please go into as much detail as possible, and be sure to include your ideal geographical location in the description!.
I'd like a fairly large house - not large enough to be called "sprawling", not large enough for multiple wings, but spacious. Box windows are essential because I've always wanted to curl up with a book in a box window, while it's raining outside. I'm a bit of a hoarder by nature, so I don't think I could truck with modern empty spaces. Think more rustic and cluttered. I would also like an attic room with exposed beams and all of that business. I don't think I could live anywhere that wasn't absolutely full of books. Lots of heavy wooden furniture, too. My ideal home would have a dog in it because I grew up without any pets and I've always wanted a dog.
As for geographical location: I really don't know whether I'd like to settle down in the city or the country. I'm very drawn to the big city, and I love the atmosphere of London, particularly. I definitely want to live somewhere with a good infrastructure (whether London has that or not depends on your opinion of TfL, I imagine). I love travel and I can't drive, so the city appeals to me for the reason of decent public transport alone, but also the sheer variety of things to see and do, whether it's a Friday night or a Sunday afternoon, is really exciting. However, I'm also convinced that I need to live by the sea, with my preference being for rugged cliffs more so than perfect beaches. I could talk at length about my weird ~spiritual connection~ with the sea, but I'll spare you. Short version: nostalgia from family holidays + wanderlust = overzealous affection for the seaside. The dream is probably to live by the sea, but a short train ride away from the city.

2. Imagine you’re given the classic opportunity: a genie granting you three wishes. What would you wish for? Please be as elaborate as you can. Wishing for more wishes is not permitted!
I'd at least consider using a wish for the benefit of the rest of the world, but probably dismiss that idea quickly. More because I'd feel like I didn't have that kind of authority to make decisions for other people, even if it was a decision that seemed to me inarguably good. Like wishing for world peace, or whatever. So I wouldn't wish for that.

1. I'd wish for eternal good health, because serious illness scares me. I would like to extend this health coverage to my teeth because I get cavities a lot and the dentist makes me nervous.

2. I'd wish for good luck, which is... kind of like wishing for extra wishes. Y'know, just enough good fortune to nudge me along the right path in all kinds of situations. Choosing the winning lottery numbers, WHY NOT. Being in the right place at the right time, more often than not. Finding love?! Situations always turning out in the best way possible. Aaaaaaaall of the luck!

3. I'd wish for my loved ones to have wishes, or if that's not allowed, I'd wish for them to find happiness wherever they can in their lives. Good luck and good health are the only things are the only things I want that I can't achieve by myself. I'll leave it to everyone else to make the outlandish demands for themselves.

3. In your life so far, what accomplishment are you the most proud of? Why? You can list more than one if you have trouble deciding. ;)
Living in France on my own for a year seven months. I knew when I chose my degree that I'd have to spend a year of it in a foreign country, and I was so terrified by the prospect that I nearly dropped French at the end of my first year. But I stuck with it, and last October I travelled miles by coach, boat and train all the way to Boulogne-sur-Mer, where I promptly cried myself to sleep in my strange new room. Things got better after that, though it was not all easy, and the experience was life-changing. I learnt more about myself in those seven months than most of the twenty years or so preceding them. I lived all on my own! I spoke to people in French and they understood me! I randomly went to Venice because I could! It felt so good to be so absolutely independent. I miss the independence a lot since moving back to England, actually. My family view me as incompetent and seemed to expect me to die when left to my own devices abroooooooad (I am the only person in my immediate family to even own a passport) and I am delighted to have proved them wrong.

4. Which of the following is most important to you: Love, Money, Knowledge, Family, Friendship, Adventure, or Pleasure? Which is the least important to you? Please explain why for each choice.
I was tempted to put love first, because I am (deep in the shadows of my tar-black soul) secretly a sappy romantic, but if the assumption is that love means exclusively romantic love, I cannot in good conscience place it at the top. I'd say friendship is the most important to me, though I'm well aware that it's partly because I'm at that point in my life where I'm starting to build a family out of friends, when the relationships I have with my peers are absolutely crucial. Asked a few years ago, I would've said knowledge. Maybe in a few more years, I'll say knowledge again. But for now, my vote is for friendship.

Least important to me is money. I'm happy living beneath my means and am not much inclined to luxury. I acknowledge money as necessary and am very grateful not to lack it significantly, but it's not something I place high value on just for the sake of it.

5. What's one quote (or passage, song lyric, etc.) that effectively describes you and your values? Explain.
"I get up when I like/Wear anything I like/Don't keep up with the cool/I'm making my own rules" from the song Lounger by Dogs Die In Hot Cars, which I've long considered to be my theme song. Along with The Coast Is Always Changing by Maximo Park. But yeah, those lyrics speak so much to my sense of independence and individuality. And laziness, I guess. I don't like to feel hampered by other people's expectations, and I am to some extent removed from the whole social game. I keep up with fashion, for example, because I find it interesting, but my knowledge of what the season's trends are will have little to no effect on what I actually wear. I just want the freedom to do whatever I want to do.

6. How do you manage your money? On that note, how important is money/financial security to you? Go into as much detail as you can.
I dislike spending large amounts of money on myself (or at all, really) and it takes me a long time to justify an extravagant purchase to myself. Mostly I save my money, because there's rarely anything I want to spend it on, and because I like the security of having savings in the bank. I dislike taking out loans and I am wary about even owning a credit card, though I have no qualms about my overdraft (IT'S INTEREST FREE I bark at everyone) because without my overdraft I would have had literally no money for the first semester of university. Thanks for your neverending competence, Student Finance!! I don't carry cash on me very often, because when cash exchanges hands I feel like I have spent Real Money. So I prefer to pay by card whenever possible. Basically I have irresponsible habits but it's all right because I don't really spend money anyway.

7. Name (and elaborate on) some of your hobbies. What are your favorite things to do outside of school/the office?
My major love is singing. I've sung in choirs since I was eleven, and I intend to take up singing lessons again as soon as I get the opportunity. Being a singer is part of my identity - I genuinely don't think I could be a happy, fulfilled person without it. I love performance, I love music, and I love the sense of community that comes with creating a beautiful sound together. There is nothing more exciting than the first rehearsal with the orchestra, or the first time you get to hear the soloists and how their parts fit in with the chorus.
I also love books, both as objects of art and for, y'know, the stories that they hold inside. I like reading books but I also like looking at them. I'm an English lit student, so "books are cool!" is kind of a prerequisite, really. I also like theatre a lot. I'm far more likely to be in the audience than on stage, however. Not necessarily out of choice, I'm just a bad actor.
Walking is another of my hobbies; I'm fairly outdoorsy and cannot stand being cooped up in one place for a long time (unless I'm absorbed in a book, of course). I like travel, and want to go pretty much everywhere, although I suspect I enjoy the actual journey more than I should. I like taking trains by myself, and having that long moment of quiet anticipation before the destination. I have friends who are exhausted by travel and need to go recover after a long journey, but I'm always revitalised by it.
Outside of those things my favourite things to do include sleeping, eating cheesecake, shouting at friends/family/strangers on the street about my fandom feels, and reading meta about everything.

8. Name three things you are afraid of. Explain.
I have a bunch of totally irrational supernatural fears. Things without faces scare me, or with distorted faces, like that one lady in the Doctor Who episode Silence in the Library. Or it might've been the other part, but either way. I'm creeped out by mirrors for similar reasons (distorted reflections). I can't explain it, because as I said it's irrational. I think it's the idea that I wouldn't be able to reason with something faceless, because it wouldn't necessarily operate on the same level of consciousness as myself. Slenderman is another example of this. I'm scared of coming up against something that I cannot understand and that cannot understand me. I'm similarly afraid of technology turning against us. It could happen. It could totally happen.

I'm afraid of losing my freedom. I'm scared of my agency being removed somehow. I'm fiercely independent and the idea of not being able to circulate freely and do what I want makes me nervous. I don't like feeling trapped. I have pretty much just repeated the same thing in different words for the past four sentences. As much as I sometimes think I'd prefer someone else to make my decisions for me, the idea of handing over the reins to someone else permanently is not one that sits well with me.

I'm afraid of most negative social interactions, to be honest. I'm scared of being rejected and of being told I'm not good enough. I'm scared of people leaving me, and I'm scared of having no one to turn to in difficult times. I've always found it a challenge to really connect with people, and the idea of having to rebuild a whole new circle of social relationships is one I find rather daunting.

9. Name (and elaborate on) your top three BEST and top three WORST qualities (personality-related, not physical). Please answer as fully as you can, as this is an important question.

BEST
1. I'm smart - which is always an awkward thing to throw out there, so let's get it out of the way first. I'm a trouble-shooter. I'm good at weighing the positives and negatives of each option, and finding the logical solution. I learn quickly and have no problems getting my head around most concepts. If I don't understand something, I actively seek the information I need to work it out until I do understand it. I'm funny on a good day, too, and I believe sense of humour is closely related to intelligence. I love theories and abstract ideas and just giving my brain a workout.

2. I'm genuine - I think the truth is important, and I dislike putting up any kind of facade. If I don't like you, I'll avoid you rather than engaging in pleasantries. But also if I like something or someone, I will make no effort to hide it. I am embarrassingly earnest in my love for certain things. I just don't see the sense in hiding the way I feel, be it positive or negative. If someone asks my opinion on something, they will get my honest opinion. I do filter myself so as to avoid hurting anyone unnecessarily, but I don't regard that as hugely important.

3. I'm easy-going - I don't have much of a temper. Under stress, I'm more likely to withdraw into myself than snap at others. I'm tolerant, sometimes to a fault, and just generally easy to get along with. I don't cause drama or make outrageous demands on other people, and for the most part I don't panic about things. My attitude is perpetually one of, "ah, it'll be all right." I like being agreeable! I'm resilient as a result - I worry a lot more than people think I do, but I still consider myself very much a "survivor".

WORST
1. I procrastinate - to an extent that could well be taken as self-sabotage. I put off doing things, whether those things are big or small, until they have such symbolic importance in my mind that I don't believe myself capable of doing them any more. It's without a doubt my worst habit because it's so self-destructive, and I know it massively holds me back from achieving my potential. I just don't have any sense of discipline, or drive, at all.

2. I'm not practical - I'm not good at looking after myself. My independent streak is unfortunate when you take into account just how bad I am at doing things for myself. Left to my own devices I would probably live on noodles and fast food, neglect bills, and never ever go to the doctor. Partly this is because I haven't lived on my own for very long, but it's also partly because I find it easy to zone out into my own world, where I don't need vitamins or human contact. I prefer theory to practice.

3. I'm detached - I'm a lot better at this than I used to be, but I'm still not good at connecting with people. People tend to see me as aloof, unemotional, reserved. I'm not very good at expressing my emotions. I do feel them intensely, but I internalise a lot. I'm just not very good at people, to be honest.





A Song of Ice and Fire Related

1.How many books from the series have you completed?
All of the main series books.

2.Who are your favorite three characters in the series? Why?
Theon Greyjoy is my number one. I am not going to lie, I have a situation. The other day I was up at 2am crying over the quote "Theon wondered what that would be like, to have a home." That's how bad it is. I understand why people hate him, but for whatever reason, I never did. I was morbidly fascinated by his journey in ACOK, that descent into bad bad decisions that he had to follow through on, and as soon as I finished the book I ran to Google to make sure he wasn't dead. And then ADWD happened and... oh Theon. Oh my heart. I pitied him, and felt utter revulsion for Ramsay. But as the book went on, and as Theon started to fumble his way into being Theon again, really becoming Theon rather than just wearing the mask of the ironborn prince he once was, I felt an odd sense of pride. ASOIAF is full of people being reborn and changing their identities. Theon's rebirth has been absolutely horrible, but reborn he has been - not as a Greyjoy, not as a Stark, not as Reek, but as a man who just might be someone to be proud of. Basically I am REALLY INVESTED in this hopeless, misguided young man. I'm not saying he hasn't done terrible things, I'm not saying he's a "good" person, but he is my favourite and I just want him to find peace at this point.

For entirely different reasons, Littlefinger is also in my top three. In terms of characters I enjoy reading about, Littlefinger constantly delivers. I just find him endlessly entertaining. His dialogue almost always makes me laugh, his dress sense is pretty fine, and there's something appealing (to me at least) about the sneaky, plotsome characters. I think he's admirable as a character that has risen from nothing to one of the most influential players in the game. Now that is some upwards social mobility! And everything he has is a result of his own cleverness. If Theon is my favourite for emotional reasons, Petyr Baelish is my favourite for intellectual reasons. I do still want him to die horribly, but I hope he has a really awesome death, because he's earnt it.

I struggled a lot with who to name as my third, because I love everyone, but I'm going to go with Brienne because... she's just so good. I love that she's a truer knight than most of the knights we meet in the series. I love her sense of honour and justice, not necessarily because I share her worldview but because there's a lot to admire in the way she so persistently tries to act on her values. Her relationships with Jaime and with Catelyn are amongst my favourite relationships in the series. And also, she is an ABSOLUTE BADASS. I actually tend to prefer characters like Sansa or the Queen of Thorns (more like QUEEN OF EVERYTHING), who are strong in different ways, but Brienne rocks my world with her knightly prowess.

3.Who are your least favorite three characters in the series? Why?
Ramsay Snow (yeah I ain't ever acknowledging you as a Bolton, bro) is my least favourite, because of everything he has done in this series. Ramsay's actions are pretty much a that's-not-okay party. I don't think anybody thinks he's an okay dude. When I first read his charming missive to Jon Snow, I actually felt a bit ill. I'm not sure having such a visceral reaction to a fictional villain is normal, though in my defence it was 3am, which is universally acknowledged as the witching hour.

Then I'd probably go with daddy Walder Frey for reasons that I'm afraid are slightly illogical. I'm really stubbornly mad that he violated guest right! Who does that? Maybe there's a thread of traditionalism in me that really resents the violation of such an ancient tradition. It's probably the aspect that most outrages me about the Red Wedding.

And then in a shocking twist, I reveal myself as a ASOIAF fan who doesn't like Joffrey!! I appreciate him to some extent as a villain, but he's just a malicious and cowardly boy and wow Joff, ordering Ned's death was a silly move no matter how you play it. He just does lots of bad things! I am not doing well justifying my choices here because I feel like they're pretty obvious choices.

4.#1 Favorite moment in all of ASOIAF so far? Why?
There are so many great great moments that I want to mention - Red Wedding, Sansa building Winterfell out of snow, Dany "selling" Drogon, Dany RIDING Drogon... but my favourite moment, the one that stuck with me the most, is when Jon Snow executes Janos Slynt. I didn't see it coming at all, and in that one moment my opinion of Jon rocketed. I'd always seen him as a good lad, but not much more, but by really backing up his words with decisive actions he impressed me a lot. I think that's the moment he truly became the Lord Commander, for me, and also the moment he left the boy behind. I'm excited for him to grow into his role, to grow into a legendary leader rather than "Ned Stark's bastard". Good on you, little Jonny Snow Snow.

5. In your dream-world, how would you like to see the series end, and why?
Okay. I'm pretty sure the Wall has to come down, or at least everyone has to team up, wildling or no, and fight the CRAZY SUPERNATURAL MENACES THAT ARE COMING AT THEM BECAUSE WINTER IS COMING! I need every current living Stark to stay living and most of all for Arya and Jon to meet again. But I want all of the Starks to meet again and hug and cry because every time I rewatch episode one I am just a sobbing mess of Stark feels. I want Tyrion and Dany to team up, and I think I want Dany to sit the Iron Throne? And I definitely want Jon/Dany interaction, POSSIBLY OF A ROMANTIC VARIETY, because I think Dany would enjoy Jon. Sansa needs to learn all of Littlefinger's smarts, and then become queen of the north/queen of my heart. At the moment I keep throwing around the idea of Jon being named King of the North but being all noble and in love with the Wall, and handing it to Sansa somehow. I would really enjoy it if Arya assassinated Ramsay because of the delicious irony (an idea I have loved ever since someone suggested it to me, though I forget who did). Sandor (if he isn't dead) should take down not-Gregor, if only to give me closure on that particular tale of brotherly love. Also if Tyrion doesn't get Casterly Rock, I will be cross. At this point I have no idea what I want for Theon. He should probably just sail off into the sunset and live a quiet, peaceful life of his own. That or a Heroic Death of Redemption. Asha to rule Pyke, Brienne for head of the queensguard. I am also so ready for Rickon to do something amazing and terrifying, I don't even care what. And I don't mind what happens with team Dragonstone so long as Davos is happy, because he is too pure for this world. By which I mean Westeros.
I think that's everyone I have specific wishes for, anyway.

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