you win or die.

[erethesunrises.livejournal.com]

Name: Anastasia
How did you find out about the community? If it's through an LJ user, please tell us who it is (individual user if possible, not just a community name!): I know that I’ve seen zombie_boogie and sakuraberries both mention it in their LJs but how I actually got to the community once I was serious about applying was through a search, honestly, because for the life of me I didn’t know which House I identified with most and multiple choice question quizzes just weren’t convincing enough for me.
Age: 20
Location: Southern California and Washington, DC for university
Occupation: Student and the place I was working at (Eddie Bauer) is going out of business so I’m on the hunt for another job at the moment. I’m planning to apply at Disneyland which is pretty much my dream job (though not career) so fingers crossed!




All About You

1. Describe your ideal house/home. Please go into as much detail as possible, and be sure to include your ideal geographical location in the description!

My ideal house is quite paradoxical. For the front façade of my house, I would want the exterior of a colonial house – white columns with a porch and white shutters on the windows. However, I definitely would not want a house that is as big as colonial houses. Firstly because I don’t imagine many people to be living there and I would have no idea what to do with all the space left over. I like nice things to display but I am definitely not a knick-knack person (I find souvenirs from traveling especially pointless unless they have a purpose or special meaning but most often they tend to be forgotten about after a while) to fill up all the space. Secondly, a big house like that with so few people living in it would honestly scare me. There would be so many sounds and the night is dark and full of terrors, as we all know. Plus, I like cozy.

Here are where some more paradoxes come in. I want it to have the cozy, more modern feeling of an apartment rather than a sprawling estate or anything like that. I don’t want stainless steel and windows everywhere or anything because that’s too modern for my tastes but a practical, technological type of modern for my living space. There would be plenty of personal photos littered about the entire home, both on walls and shelves. I’m also quite fond of posters (particularly movie posters) and other things to mount on the wall (such as my framed copy of the Declaration of Independence – I’m a History major, what can I say?). It absolutely has to have the space and be comfortable for a dog, however, because, quite frankly, I can’t imagine living without one. And I tend to like large dogs. Wherever I live would be just as much their home as it would be mine.

As for where I live, it has to be in or near a city. I love the hustle and bustle of big cities. Getting away occasionally is nice but I couldn’t do it for too long. I grew up near Los Angeles and now go to university in Washington, DC and just studied for a semester in London. I thrive in cities and can’t possibly imagine being far away from one. If I had to pick one location for this ideal home, it would probably be DC (though London might give it a run for its money for a bit). The only problem here is how far away both places are from Disneyland which is, undoubtedly, my favorite place and very much a second home for me so it’s all a bit complicated.

2. Imagine you’re given the classic opportunity: a genie granting you three wishes. What would you wish for? Please be as elaborate as you can. Wishing for more wishes is not permitted!

There are so many things I could wish for but would take away from the richness and adventures of life. Where’s the excitement of your dream career if you simply wish for it rather than take the journey to it yourself? One of the things I want most for the human race is to find life outside of earth but it wouldn’t be nearly as rewarding if I simply wished for it, rather than for us (or them) to find each other based off science and exploration. A lot of things I want to experience and achieve for myself without the unsaid consequences of wishes so I find this question to be tricky.

• College debt paid off. I’m graduating next year and will have some loans to pay back that I definitely don’t look forward to. Higher education and rising tuition prices are some of the most important political issues to me and also some that frustrate me the most. Unfortunately we can’t just wish the debt away but if I could, I definitely would. Wishing for money doesn’t interest me but having a fresh start without already being set back does.

• A fully functioning time machine! And the first time period I would go to would be the American Revolution to see and experience that and also to meet Thomas Jefferson (if I could meet anyone in the world, dead or alive, I would always choose him). Other time periods I would love to visit are the US Civil War, the 20s, the 60s (specifically for the youth movements and Bobby Kennedy) as well as the American Frontier, Ancient Rome, and Elizabethan England, probably. As a History major, it would be the best kind of research I ever did and they would all be exciting adventures! The experiences would alone be worth it. I get a lot of excitement just from visiting historical sites; experiencing history would be an entirely other thing.

• So this last one actually proved tricky to me by putting my own limitations on my wishes. The first two have significant meanings and impacts on my life but for this last one, I feel some frivolity and using a wish for something that’s purely joyful (and hard to obtain) is appropriate since I would like to earn most things in life myself. So I’ve decided that getting to spend a week in Disney World’s Castle Suite with my closest friends and going to all the parks would be pretty spectacular and spontaneous (I really love spontaneous adventures most of all) and the memories would be best (it sounds so cliché but memories and photos are really the best souvenirs). It’s perhaps not as selfless or significant as world peace or anything but I find those to be a bit of a cop-out and I believe selfishness is a necessary evil in the world and that, hey, if you’re given three wishes, live a little and have fun with one!

3. In your life so far, what accomplishment are you the most proud of? Why? You can list more than one if you have trouble deciding. ;)

There are two accomplishments I’m most proud of but they’re technically the same thing: the two times I’ve left home. The first was when I left the only home I had ever known, Southern California, to go across the country to Washington, D.C. to university. I had always known I wanted to go away for university, to get away and see new places which held new adventures and experiences for me. I didn’t expect it to be has hard as it was for a while. The first semester was great but then I went home for winter break and when I went back to DC for second semester, I was incredibly homesick and on the verge of transferring for the first couple of weeks. I realized how much I loved where I had grown up and how much I missed it but then I also made the realization that it and the people I loved there weren’t going anywhere. I’m so glad and grateful I stuck it through – I’ve absolutely fallen in love with DC and my university. I can now call DC a home and I’ve learned so much and have had so many amazing experiences there. I know I’m going to be equally excited and heartbroken when I graduate next year because I will miss DC endlessly.

This past January I left to study in London for the semester. I had figured the homesickness I had faced in DC would make going even further easier. It had absolutely taught me really important things but it didn’t completely take away the hardships I faced upon first getting to London. There is definitely a noticeable difference between simply being across the country and being in a new country entirely. Not to mention I missed two places – both California and DC – while in London and I didn’t know anyone in London at first, unlike the friends I had made in DC who helped me cope with my homesickness before. None of this was made any easier by the fact that soon after getting to London I found out my dog had passed away. It was an extremely trying time which left me feeling incredibly heavy and lonely and listless. In the end, however, I got through it and I’ve really come to appreciate London and enjoy my time here. I definitely will miss it when I leave in a few weeks.

I had always figured myself independent and self-reliant. These two experiences gave me the opportunity to prove that I could be those things to myself. However, they also gave me difficulties I had never even predicted (foolishly so, I realize now, but nonetheless important). They terrified me at first as signs of weakness but ultimately I feel much more confident in myself and feel like I’ve found myself more. I’m grateful to these two experiences and absolutely feel like I’ve accomplished several things with them, most noticeably with my inner strength and independence and also that missing home is an entirely natural thing.

4. Which of the following is most important to you: Love, Money, Knowledge, Family, Friendship, Adventure, or Pleasure? Which is the least important to you? Please explain why for each choice.

It’s considerably more difficult to choose which one is most important. While all have their own level of importance with me, it would have to be between adventure and friendship. I’ve already expressed my fondness of adventure, especially if it’s spontaneous and it’s an aspect of life I love and intend to keep embracing. We only have one life and I’m firm in not believing in regrets. I’ve already made some pretty wonderful memories in my life and I would love to keep making them. Memories are way more fun as well if they include friends. I am far and away an extrovert and while I’m not one for massive crowds, I love the company of friends and what they mean to me. I absolutely wouldn’t be me without my friends. My family in so many ways means the same to me and the comfort they provide to me but the development of bonds between friends and the memories and adventures I’ve had with them mean the world to me.

As for least important, I have to go with money because I consider it a necessary evil in the world. It’s needed, that can’t be denied, but often I find it brings more stress than anything. I accept the responsibility of it and that getting a paycheck feels good or the exhilaration of allowing yourself to splurge a little once in a while but all the complications and regrets it can bring are really kind of a bummer.

5. What's one quote (or passage, song lyric, etc.) that effectively describes you and your values? Explain.

”It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.” - Walt Disney

If any quote were to mean so much to me, it would be this one (I’m even planning on getting it as a tattoo once I’m home this summer!). Not only does it have the Disney roots that mean so much to me but simply the quote itself really speaks to me and how I want to embrace life. You really never know if something is impossible unless you try it. Life is meant to be fun. Challenging and frustrating but ultimately enriching and an adventure. I’ve loved this quote since I was a kid and it’s always stuck with me. It gives me that excitement to really grab life by the horns and go after it.

One that effectively describes more-so my values is one by Thomas Jefferson: ” I never had an opinion in politics or religion which I was afraid to own. A costive reserve on these subjects might have procured me more esteem from some people, but less from myself.”

6. How do you manage your money? On that note, how important is money/financial security to you? Go into as much detail as you can.

As I mentioned before, money often brings stress and complications that I would really rather not have to be bogged down by. However, as I also mentioned before, it’s a necessary evil in the world and hey, splurging from time to time can be fun. That being said, financial security is extremely important to me but also stresses me out too often for my tastes (especially the whole college debt thing). The unknown of financial security can really be terrifying. Wealth does not hold all the appeal to me but stability does and that’s what’s important. I’ve been able to show restraint in spending so I feel confident in my ability to manage my money.

I can definitely splurge a little (recently, dresses have become something of an addiction) but the thought of losing stability is enough to scare me to manage my money well, I hope. In a story that I don’t even believe myself still, I came into a nice pot of money last summer as a contestant on The Price is Right (yup, it still sounds absurd to say that) and I put it into a savings account, part of which I’ve used for this study abroad experience and the rest to continue being saved.

7. Name (and elaborate on) some of your hobbies. What are your favorite things to do outside of school/the office?

• Civil War Reenacting: I haven’t done it in a couple years because of how busy I’ve been with college and everything but I started doing this at the start of high school and it’s been a lot of fun and have definitely loaned itself for some amazing memories. I started out as a soldier in the Union Army in the 69th Pennsylvania regiment and then eventually got myself a dress and began attending as a civilian. The history nerd in me had absolutely the greatest time whenever I went to an event. We had private balls once the reenactment was closed to the public that were amazing. The people I reenacted with had so much devotion to what we were doing and it was incredible to see. Plus the romantic in me was quite charmed by all the chivalry.

• Going to Disneyland: I’ve expressed my love for this place already and that it’s far and away my favorite place and absolutely another home to me. My parents first took me when I was eighteen months and its magic has only gotten more magical to me. As a warning, I sound really cheesy when I talk about Disneyland but it’s simply because of how much it means to me. I’m generally an extremely happy person but I can honestly say that I’ve never felt happier than when I’m at Disneyland. It’s really the Happiest Place on Earth to me. I love going with my friends and having the adventure and especially showing people who have never been (or who have rarely been) around and really sharing the experience with people.

• Getting lost in fictional worlds: I’m a film minor – specifically studying films and them as storytelling techniques rather than actually making them. Real life is definitely exciting but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find fictional words just as exciting half the time. Books, television, film, you name it. A quiet night at home with friends and a marathon of film or TV definitely has its appeal to me. I probably get far too invested for my own good in these characters’ lives but I can honestly say that I don’t mind and I get a thrill from it. I love caring about something so much and I’m of the mind that, as long as it doesn’t bring harm to anyone else, people should really embrace and go after what makes them happy.

• Wandering aimlessly: When I’ve lived in cities like London and DC, I find that some of the best times, especially away from school, are just starting somewhere with friends and walking somewhere with no actual destination. There was one night in DC when I did this with some friends and we ended up just sitting by the pool in front of the Capitol talking and another where we found ourselves getting ice cream and then walking to the White House. They’re some of the simplest plans but spontaneous and also some of the best memories.

8. Name three things you are afraid of. Explain.

• Cleithrophobia: This is a phobia I’ve had from a while and started with a specific incident. This is the fear of being locked in an enclosed space. It’s different from claustrophobia in that I’m fine being in a small space as long as I absolutely know I can get out. Elevators are a really big fear for me when it comes to this as well as any sort of rickety door that has the possibility of getting stuck. This all started when I was in elementary school and at my summer camp. I went into the bathroom and the door was being propped open because the inside handle had come off somehow. While I was in there, the door closed and it was impossible to get out. I couldn’t have been in there very long because someone came and opened the door but those few minutes traumatized me. Another moment that shows this fear was a handful of years ago when I was on a cruise with my family and I used the bathroom in our room. I was just washing my hands or something so I didn’t lock the door. I apparently have a short-term memory or something because I forgot I hadn’t locked it and so I twisted the lock to leave, thereby locking the door. I panicked because this is such an irrational fear that really takes hold of me and absolutely leaves me terrified. It’s really this fear of being locked somewhere and no one knowing and missing out on life and adventures and not able to exercise my freedom.

• Selachophobia: This is the fear of sharks. I don’t have a story or any logical explanation for this one that I do for cleithrophobia. Maybe it was just seeing Jaws as a child. All I know is that mere photos and videos of sharks, even if they’re just swimming around and being harmless, absolutely terrify me. For a while this even developed a fear of the ocean in me (as well as drowning or being caught in a rip tide or something). I’ve since embraced the ocean much more – or at least the beach, being in the middle of a large body of water still makes my heart race nervously. Sharks are just these massive creatures that can so easily cause harm and why I’m more scared of them than, say, a lion (which is an animal I love) or a bear when they’re on land, I honestly can’t say. Maybe it’s because fur can make an animal cute but either way, sharks totally scare me.

• Disappointing someone: I set high standards for myself and I have it in my head that everyone else holds me to these standards as well so the possibility of not meeting these imaginary standards and then letting someone down makes me sick to my stomach. I like making people proud and receiving praise so I work really hard to make that happen and not receive that look of disappointment as well. You could also say this is atychiphobia which is the fear of failure. This especially applies to academics for me at this point in my life.

9. Name (and elaborate on) your top three BEST and top three WORST qualities (personality-related, not physical). Please answer as fully as you can, as this is an important question.

BEST

• Passionate: When I love something or find something that makes me happy, I go after it 110%. Sometimes more, but never less. I like to throw myself into things that I’m interested in and learn everything about whatever it is, form my own opinions and generally just become known for loving that thing. I’m also an extremely emotional person which aids how openly I show my passion. Sometimes my emotions can be a bit much for them but I find they make me who I am and I embrace them with open arms. I absolutely wear my heart on my sleeve and I’m more or less an open book when it comes to my emotions and expressing my love for something. It’s a lot easier for me to show happy emotions than sad ones too but either way, it’s usually never hard to tell how I’m feeling within a couple minutes of talking to me. I can’t fight my emotions so I see no point in trying to hide them. But yes, I really love to get passionate about things.

• Optimistic: If you ask me if the glass if half-empty or half-full, I will always and forever say it’s half-full and there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel, etc etc. I believe in happy endings and things working out if you’ve worked hard enough for your happy ending and really believe in it. I’m absolutely a dreamer and a romantic but I don’t consider myself naïve. Life can be unfair and cruel and bitter and we have to face trying times. However, I simply believe that there will always be an epilogue to these trying times and people will get what they deserve (I really have a thing for justice which is one of the big reasons I like Stannis so much). And I find this way of thinking simply makes life a lot easier to go through for me. Not to mention, as I said before I’m an extrovert and extremely enthusiastic and outgoing and this trait (as well as being passionate) really add to this as well.

• Loyal: This is perhaps in juxtaposition with one of my worst qualities (selfishness) but it's one of the qualities I try and show the most. In some ways, however, loyalty can be considered a shade of selfishness based on the loyalty you will hopefully receive in return as well as the bond and joy they'll hopefully bring too. I've already expressed what friendships mean to me and how grateful I am to have the people that I do in my life. I like to show them how much they mean to me and try and be the best friend possible. I will stick with a friend through thick and thin because I know that I owe them a lot for the richness they bring to my own life. It's not only friends and family I show loyalty to, however - my opinions and beliefs, my favorite fictional characters even when they make dumb decisions or alienate other fans, I really like sticking with things and not giving up on them. On the ASOIAF note, Ned and his stupid honor and loyalty give me a lot of feelings and I really admire him.

WORST

• Stubborn: I have an extremely stubborn personality, especially when it comes to my beliefs. Compromise is certainly not impossible for me and I can be an accommodating person but it’s not always easy and I’m certainly not always happy with it. I can clash with other personalities but usually in that case I find it pointless to continue with that personality (I don’t like conflict most of the time and find it wearisome). I definitely have opinions and I like to stick to them. I love hearing other sides of things but it's usually rare to have me switch sides or anything. I know that this can sometimes drive people mad and it's not that I'm close-minded, simply that I'm typically resolved to what I believe in.

• Sarcasm: This quality serves two purposes for me: comedy and a defense mechanism. I mostly have a dry sense of humor and sarcasm fits that. I know some people find sarcasm mean and so I try to refrain around them but easier said than done. Sarcasm comes very naturally to me and most often I use it without even thinking about it. On a deeper level, however, it’s a defense mechanism. In rough times or arguments, I tend to detach myself sometimes by using sarcasm. It protects me from getting more hurt that I could be and it also allows me to usually be calmer and not lash out. I am definitely not someone with temper.

• Selfish: I find selfishness to be another necessary evil in this world but unlike money, I don’t find it nearly as tiresome or stressful. I honestly believe it’s naïve to think that one can go through life without being selfish. I just find myself willing to admit that being selfish is okay. I try and prevent it from ever hurting someone but if someone else has to slow down so I can get ahead, I am certainly not above that (or getting someone I care about ahead or what they deserve). I think it’s extremely important to watch out for number one. If you’re not doing well or aren’t happy, you’re really not going to be much good to anyone else. Sometimes we simply have to put ourselves first and that’s okay.




A Song of Ice and Fire Related

1.How many books from the series have you completed?

I have just recently caught up with everyone else! I felt quite accomplished and excited when I finally finished A Dance with Dragons.

2.Who are your favorite three characters in the series? Why?

• Sansa Stark: This girl and her arc and all the feelings and pride she gives me. (I do apologize now if I start to get a little incoherent – you are having me talk about characters, after all!) Like most fans I’ve talked to, at the start of Game of Thrones, I found her a little frustrating but also recognized the context in which she had grown up and how that had shaped her. That didn’t stop me from latching onto Arya more, though. By about the middle of that first book though (and season , since I did both around the same time), I started to open my eyes to her and see the potential she had. And my god, does she have potential. The more she learns, the larger of a player in this game of thrones she becomes and it is thrilling. She has become so strong and yet in so many ways she’s still that fragile little bird who mourns for her father and misses her family and I love that about her. She hasn’t lost her purity of soul simply by strengthening her resolve. She’s one of the characters I am most excited about for future books.

• Stannis Baratheon: Lobster king! He was something of a surprising character for me. Some friends had predicted I might become a fan of his based on knowing some of the types of characters I like. With Stannis, it’s his fierce sense of justice and that kind of persecution complex he’s got going on. When I first met him in A Clash of Kings, I wasn’t quite sold that I would like him as much as my friends had led me to believe. He was interesting but I kind of wanted to laugh and pat him on the head more than anything. Now, however, I have become a legitimate supporter of his. As I was reading A Dance with Dragons, I found myself becoming increasingly concerned with whether or not things would go well for him and it’s really making me freak out. I don’t know if I necessarily want him on the Iron Throne but by all logic, he does have a real claim to it and he’s doing this out of what he views as his duty and I find it fascinating. As I said, I love him and his justice and I think he truly views that he's trying to do what's best for Westeros as King but he's so immovable that it can be frustrating. Plus I love his trio with Davos and Melisandre.

• Daenerys Targaryen: I feel like she’s somewhat of a typical answer but I can’t really bring myself to care because damn girl. I have to admit that as of late (upon reading A Dance with Dragons), she has frustrated me with some of the choices she’s made but I reflect on her arc and I just want to cry with how much she amazes me most of the time. She’s so young and has had to face so much in her life. Okay, so, I have no shame in admitting that Viserys gave me a lot of feelings in his time but one of the things I always loved to look at most was the difference between him and Dany and how their situation ended up shaping them both. She became the mother of dragons (dragons) and I honestly can’t see her on the Iron Throne yet because she’s not suited yet as a queen of Westeros, in my opinion, but she still has so much growth and what I’m hoping will be more of an incredible arc ahead of her. I'm excited for her future even though she's been separated from everyone which is very aarrrgghhh but also a very GRRM thing to do so.

And because I’m helpless to my own feelings, I just have to mention that if this had been five, I probably would have included Jorah (because he’s such a grump and makes me feel so conflicted and I’m always excited by his scenes) and Arianne Martell (fierce girl is fierce and I would love to see so much more of her because depending on what we get of her in the future, I can see her replacing Dany in my top three). The Starks in general also.

3.Who are your least favorite three characters in the series? Why?

• Joffrey Baratheon Lannister: Does it really even need saying? He was a monster with a crown on his head and way too much power that he lusted over. He was honestly a terrifying character. Of course he made for some interesting (I’m not even sure I want to use that world – compelling? Important?) scenes and he drove important plots with the choices he made but in no way did I ever like his character and of course we’re not supposed to.

• Ramsay Bolton: Reading about him and scenes with him Theon’s chapters in A Dance with Dragons actually made me feel physically ill. Just like Joffrey, he’s a rather terrifying character who assumes too much power and abuses it. There really is no deep analysis of why I dislike him so much or anything, I just find him to be a despicable person and he scares me. Also he’s fighting against Stannis so.

• Theon Greyjoy: ohhhhh where do I even begin on this character. After his arc in A Dance with Dragons, I’ve been left so conflicted and frustrated about him. I haven’t liked him much from the start and when A Clash of Kings happened, I detested him. I really did. The choices he’s made have been well explained but I just couldn’t bring myself to accept them at all. He has a thought in A Dance with Dragons about how he should have died with Robb at the Red Wedding and it hit me all over again why I just feel so angry with him and he brings me so much pain. The arc of conflicting loyalties is a complex one, especially with how he is in relation to his own family and the fact that he was never actually a Stark but a prisoner. I see the appeal in his arc but I can’t help but still feel so frustrated by him. Reading his chapters in A Dance with Dragons definitely gave me more conflicting feelings but I think what it really comes down to is that I pity him but the choices he makes to be accepted somewhere still anger me. I do really enjoy reading his chapters though. And probably will even more so with where he was left off at the end of A Dance with Dragons (yes, sometimes I have a one-track mind).

4.#1 Favorite moment in all of ASOIAF so far? Why?

Renly’s death. I really hope I don’t get throttled by anyone for saying that. I wasn’t saddened by his death at all, it was the first oh man shit’s getting real moment for me and that is why it’s my favorite moment so far. Obviously there are so many other moments that have impacted me but this one takes the number one for how it affected me and that it was the real first one to affect me in such a way. Ned’s death left me distraught but Renly’s death was a oh my god what just happened what is going to happen moment for me. I liked Renly as a character and this isn’t just because I support Stannis or anything, but it was a moment that really snowballed and led to so many other important arcs and was really just such an amazing game changer. I did love Stannis’ reaction to his death and the subsequent arc with Brienne and Catelyn was amazing. It was just great, okay.

5. In your dream-world, how would you like to see the series end, and why?

STARKS/HAPPINESS. I want at least two of them to make it and have a reunion and have some prospect of happiness for their future. I definitely also wouldn’t say no to Bran or Sansa coming into a position of power because I love them both a lot and think they both have potential as leaders or people of power. Basically, their pain is the worst pain and makes me want to rip out my heart and so I'm hoping to get that alleviated.

I don’t really have any more specifics. I tend not to think about the end of this series and just prepare myself to shoulder whatever GRRM throws at us. I’d like to see most of my favorite characters survive but I don’t think I’ll be that lucky. Especially with Jorah. I honestly don’t know where I want to see his arc go right now. I’d like to see him and Dany reunited some way as that complicated mess that it is. But I kind of get the feeling he’ll die.

I can’t say who I want to see on the Iron Throne. Out of the contenders, I support Stannis and Dany the most but each have serious cons at being the leaders of Westeros at this point so I’m torn. Mostly I’m just excited to see what we have in store for us!

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[LANNISTER]

[dothecrunge.livejournal.com]

Your paradoxical dream home, your strong passion, and your need of open space give me Targaryen vibes.