win or die

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Name: Kell.

How did you find out about the community? zmeysmok posted about it at ONTD. All the points for them as a few of us got roped in xD.

Age: 21

Location: Ontario, Canada :D.

Occupation: Student







All About You

1. Describe your ideal house/home. Please go into as much detail as possible, and be sure to include your ideal geographical location in the description!.

Getting the most important thing out of the way first, I must live near water. I just feel more at home when I can see and be near water. Basically, this would exclude any inland place. The city I live in is on the edge of a large lake, and I’m only 10 minutes away from it. This is ideal, and one of the only things going for my current location. The only time I would ever compromise the fact I’m not near water would be if the city I’m in is filled with old buildings, like from the Renaissance, Gothic, Baroque, or Victorian era. Even then, I hope that city could at least throw me a river if it refuses to be near a body of water. I also prefer the middle seasons (fall/spring) as the weather is neither extremely cold nor extremely hot, and I love rain (as well as the atmosphere it brings after a fresh rain).

For actual quarters, a small house would be the most ideal. Something more on the simple and clean side but trying to avoid the modern condominiums or townhouses of today with their inorganic feel. There would also need to be a small garden just so I can be one of those people who put beautiful but completely over-the-top marble sculptures out front. Maybe even have one of those fancy iron-wrought gates because I can, even if it makes little sense. I would want it to be flashy for the laughs it would bring me every time I come home. I would also want it to be at least kind of accessible by public transit, as driving is scary.

Interior-wise, everything would be pretty organized and slick. Lots of white and black in terms of structure/furniture colour. Any and all colour would be added with accessories and trinckets/objects I’ve collected over the years. I’m huge into antique collecting (especially antique clocks) and my house would probably be a mini-museum of old things. I would also have marble/granite basically anywhere and everywhere, especially for all my counters like in the kitchen and bathroom. I love places that look clean and professional, but I hate it when they go too far and it’s devoid of character and just looks completely unnatural. I also have a huge thing for bookcases everywhere, even if you use them to display objects and not books.

I can imagine the only thing that would really break the “clean and professional” mould would be my bed. It’s going to be huge and layered with blankets for optimal space for my blanket cocoon’s.

2. Imagine you’re given the classic opportunity: a genie granting you three wishes. What would you wish for? Please be as elaborate as you can. Wishing for more wishes is not permitted!

1. To be at least marginally successful at everything I do: I have a huge fear of failing. Wishing for this wouldn’t mean I’d stop trying at everything I do, I would just want some guaranteed help after I put my sweat and tears into something. The feeling of trying my hardest on something, but then failing absolutely destroys me. It also happens a lot to me, as far as I’m concerned. It’s a sick cycle, I like taking on challenging tasks, and they just never work out. I want this to change.

2. To be forever immune to colds, the flu, diseases etc: I get knocked down so hard when I get sick, it’s embarrassing. I hate cancelling plans, being bed-bound all day or alternatively forcing myself through the day all because I’m beaten by a sore throat, or a stomach bug. I just hate being sick and I can’t even imagine if I ever get a serious disease or health problem as I get older. As well, this way I could always be there for my friends in there times of need and I wouldn’t have to worry about the well being of myself.

3. To have a rewind button on my life. If that’s too god-mode, then a pause button. I’m also queen of regrets over missed opportunities and some of the decisions I made, mostly around things like school. I like trying to be rational, but a lot of the time, life is too quick to be able to sit there and think things through. This also ties into my fear of failure, I guess. My only worry about this wish would be that I screw up something good that happened or that me going back in time to retry would hurt someone else, and now that I just thought of the implications it could bring I feel awful for making this wish. I would most likely only ever use it in the direst of occasions then. I’m pretty good with self-control.

3. In your life so far, what accomplishment are you the most proud of? Why? You can list more than one if you have trouble deciding. ;)

…I think this question is a lot harder than it should be, and that makes me sad. I don’t think I’ve done anything that I can stand there and be really proud of. I can list a few small things, like getting into university or being an honour student but I feel like they are basic and small. At this moment, I’m just proud of where I am today despite all my regrets and beef with my younger self for being a complete loser in environments that made me feel even more like a loser.

4. Which of the following is most important to you: Love, Money, Knowledge, Family, Friendship, Adventure, or Pleasure? Which is the least important to you? Please explain why for each choice.

Most important: Knowledge. I like learning, and to not be able to learn would be a living death. Knowledge for me is a life blood, and I believe a human should never stop learning and expanding their minds.

Least important: Love. I’m more than happy surrounding myself with amazing friends but I don’t need someone that is in love with me. In other words, I just want amazing friends that are always there, and that I can always be there for. I’m perfectly ok if I never end up having a significant other, but I would be nowhere without my friends. Love love is so complicated; friendship love is where it will always be at. I hope this made sense, because I’m not sure it did.

5. What's one quote (or passage, song lyric, etc.) that effectively describes you and your values? Explain.

“On my way to heaven” by Above and Beyond is basically my pick-me-up song right now. I’m not sure it entirely describes my values (especially after stating I don’t care much for love) but I think the rest of it describes me perfectly. To be specific it’s opening lyrics that get me and every time I belt them out I instantly feel better;

“You always laugh
when I cry.
I'm always looking to tomorrow
as you mourn the days gone by.
You always tread
on my toes.
But my guiding hand of love,
is helping everywhere you go.
I'm always wrong;
you're always right.
But I can see right through the lies,
To the never changing light”

This rebuilds me every time, whenever people (or myself even) knock me down, I eventually refuse to stay down just in spite of them (or myself). Always gotta keep strong, as far as I’m concerned.

I really hope this counts as an answer. I don’t really like applying literary quotes to myself, as they always feel so contrived. Songs on the other hand rock my world all the time.

6. How do you manage your money? On that note, how important is money/financial security to you? Go into as much detail as you can.

Money/financial security is only important as far as it’s kind of what the world is today. I mean, without money, you’re pretty much out of luck. Even more importantly, not having money would mean I couldn’t reach the goal of my future home/house, and that would be a failure to me. I only value it as it’s a worldly thing now, and you need money to get by.

At the moment I’m pretty careful with money. It’s hard to go into detail as I’m an unemployed student who has a very strict budget out of necessity. When I was working, however, I still was still pretty careful with money. I like saving as you never know what will happen down the road.

7. Name (and elaborate on) some of your hobbies. What are your favorite things to do outside of school/the office?

Sports! Well, only really kick about soccer games with the friends. It’s just a great way to de-wind, relax and get rid of any pent-up energy after a long day of sitting taking lecture notes. I also love the fact it can be spontaneous and you always need friends/other people to play. I also love doing archery, but I had to stop as I could no longer afford to do it. One of the first things I’m going to do when I get a solid job and start building up some cash is re-join a range/club. Similar to playing soccer, it was such a stress release and confidence booster for me.

I also watch a ton of soccer and it’s probably unhealthy for me, but I don’t care. I love it.

I’m also a complete internet child. It makes me laugh and there are always silly and amusing things online. I also love meeting new people online I wouldn’t meet otherwise, like through online interest forums or multiplayer games. This feeds into my other hobby of playing video games. I love them as escapes from the world, but you can still be interacting with it.

A quick list of other lovely things to do: listen to music, singing awfully out loud, reading, bothering my brother, talking to animals in a baby voice (even wild ones), swimming, and dancing wildly. Among a lot of other things.



8. Name three things you are afraid of. Explain.

1. As already mentioned, I’m afraid of failure. I hate the sense of utter disappointment in myself whenever I fail.

2. I’m afraid of being left behind and forgotten. I’m perfectly okay with being alone/by myself to the point of actually liking being by myself at times. I’m more afraid of just being the person everyone forgets and I become forever isolated. I hate the feeling of being abandoned, which probably explains why abandoned animals absolutely slay me and I must cuddle and smother them with love. Being alone is good, complete isolation is bad.

3. Spiders. You’re all laughing, stopppppppppp. I become a huge baby when one is around (even if it’s super tiny) to the point where I begin hyperventilating, whimpering and eventually start panicking that it’s going to eat me or something. They also make me really anxious and jittery. I hate them. I hate them even more because they make me look like a weak person.

9. Name (and elaborate on) your top three BEST and top three WORST qualities (personality-related, not physical). Please answer as fully as you can, as this is an important question.

1. I have a knack for staying light-hearted, even in the hardest situations. It’s a defence mechanism for me, I guess, but it saves me (and friends) a lot from falling into a world of despair when crap goes wrong. Because crap will always go wrong. Doesn’t always work though; there’s a few scenarios for me where it completely shuts off (most of which already outlined in this post).

2. I’m pretty good under pressure. I can stay calm and collected under pretty strict deadlines and circumstances. I can usually become an absolute rock when I have to. It’s a blessing for school and I can imagine it will be a blessing the rest of my life.

3. I’m fully devoted to people that mean a lot to me, and I’m completely loyal to 1them. Even if I think what you’re standing for is dumb, I’ll probably still offer some form of support. I’d be a very good brother in arms; the moment you are in trouble and ask for help, I would be there.

Worst

1. I work hard when I stop procrastinating. I’m awful at this. I’m procrastinating right now to fill this out. I like telling myself that I work even harder under pressure to make myself feel better. It’s horrible and I hate it because when I think about all the time I waste when I could be productively writing essays or studying for a midterm I cringe.

2.I’ve become pretty indifferent towards things over the years and brutally honest. Things that should bother me don’t and it sometimes comes in the way of me being able to help a friend get through something. If I think you’re being stupid about something, I’ll most definitely tell you about it. Not necessarily tell you want you want to hear or just saying something to make you feel better. I’ll usually try and tell you nicely, but it’s probably not want you wanted to hear.

3. I’m really sarcastic. I love myself for being sarcastic, but I can’t imagine everyone else always loving it. Even when I take things seriously, I’ll be poking fun at it. I think this makes it look like I’m a total bitch sometimes, especially to people who don’t know me or don’t really get sarcasm. I’ve had a few altercations with people who simply just misunderstood my humour. I’m still trying to find the line when I should hold my sarcasm to myself but it’s hard.







A Song of Ice and Fire Related

1.How many books from the series have you completed?

All 5. Some more well re-read than others.

2.Who are your favorite three characters in the series? Why?

1. Theon. I’m never an apologist because he does pretty bad things, but that is the bare minimum to his character. His character struggle has just been the most interesting and rewarding to me. He’s stuck in between identities, not Stark despite growing up with them and regarding them as family, but neither is he a Greyjoy despite always asserting that he is one. He tries to take matters into his own hands, by eventually deciding to at least try and prove to his father/everyone else he’s a Greyjoy. No matter how hard he tries, nothing works out for him, and ends up making everything worse. He went into Winterfell to prove himself as a Greyjoy but he tried to be kind and “a good ruler” to the people he grew up with. It’s was an incredible struggle to try to do both, and as things go wrong he makes the worst decisions (while actually regretting almost every single choice he makes) while listening to the wrong people (ie. he was blind to Asha’s advice because he wanted to show her that he isn’t worthless while listening to Reek). He tries, he really does. It absolutely killed me when he re-appeared in Dance, not just having lost his identity but actively being denied and stripped of an identity by Ramsay. There’s so much more I could say, but I think I summed up the gist of my undying love and complete investment into this character.

2. Sansa. I identified with her right away because Sansa is very much so me when I was younger. Like her, I was naïve and filled with fairytales and songs and with the belief that nothing can go wrong, just like in the songs. Sansa was completely stifled because of her naivety and innocence, fully believing that life would just follow the fairytales and she’ll end up happy, and loved. She believed this so much, she was pretty insufferable to the people who told her otherwise, including her own family. Her character arc however? Absolutely amazing and this makes her one of my favourite characters. She’s gone from naïve little girl to a strong and (hopefully soon) completely capable playing the game that crushed her completely.

3. Jaime. I love pushing-8-year-old-kids-out-of-windows Jaime. I love witty-and-snappy Jaime. I love self-loathing Jaime. He covers such a wide range of awesome; I don’t even know where to begin. Yes, he’s actually a pretty horrible person, and he’s done pretty horrible things but his motivations, convictions and vices are just so bloody interesting, I adore him. I think I love him in the same way I love Theon, I’m just far more invested in Theon’s personal problems than Jaime’s by a tad.

Honourable mentions to Davos, Asha, and Ser Pounce.

3.Who are your least favorite three characters in the series? Why?

1. Arya. *dodges tomatoes*. She just never clicked with me like she does for a lot of other people. I liked her at first, I really did. I do not like her character arc in the slightest, however. I think it’s because her whole story (especially in Braavos) was that she had to forget who she was to be capable of living/whatever but I absolutely adore the character stories where they have to fight to keep their identities to live. I think her character arc is just so opposite of what I love, she’s never fully interested me. I did enjoy her struggling with her identity early on though, when she first becomes Arry, but the peak of her story is forgetting who she is and continuously. I don’t like that. I also didn’t like that for Arya to become strong, she ended up becoming a kind of paranoid “STAB ALL THE BAD THINGS” character. People call that “badass,” I call it “not very interesting.” You can all go ahead and hate me now~.

2. Ramsay Bolton. I love Roose Bolton a lot. Ramsay, on the other hand, is just so over the top cartoonishly (in GRRM sense, I guess) evil it’s awful. I like my bad guys with motivations. Ramsay has no motivation other than just being a horrible person and kind of crazy. I absolutely hate this character, and think he’s completely useless and added purely for the shock value of a 100% detestable character. In a series whose author creates amazing morally grey characters, Ramsay sticks out like a sore thumb. His old man is pretty cruel, but even he isn’t purely evil.

3. Lady Stoneheart. No, GRRM, just no. Bringing people back from the dead always makes me groan in annoyance. Cat can’t catch a break, even in death.

4.#1 Favorite moment in all of ASOIAF so far? Why?

Arggggggggggg. This is a horrible question! There’s no such thing as my #1 favourite as it’s always changing every re-read. I think one of my favourite character moments is in Clash, and I just re-read Clash so it’s still pretty fresh in my mind. Theon is crossing one of the bridges at Pyke after drinking too much and falls over. Asha comes up to help him, and pokes fun at him. After a short dialogue, Theon pouts that he liked Asha better when she was Esgred. Asha quickly responds with “well, I liked you better when you were 8.” This exchange of dialogue is one of my absolutely favourites of the entire books and this is where I fell in love with both of them. It’s just so simple, but so amazing.

Honourable mentions go to “I just wanted to hear him say ‘Thappireth’”, the Cat and Jaime scene in Clash (“No men like me. Only me”), Theon and Jeyne jumping off the Winterfell fall in Dance, and the red comet as I loved all the characters interpreting it in all different ways.

5. In your dream-world, how would you like to see the series end, and why?

All the bad people are dead. All the people I like live happily ever after. Too simple?

I’m just going to say for my top three characters, because this’ll get silly if I just go for it.

I honestly think Jaime isn’t surviving so in my dream world he does. He lives a long life full of amazing things to write into his entry in the White Book.

Sansa is either the Queen in Cersei’s demise prophecy and she becomes known as the best and prettiest Queen in all of Westerosi history and nothing ever bad happens to her during her reign. In less extravagant dreams, she becomes Lady of the rebuilt Winterfell and lives happily ever after.

Theon is a tough one for me. I would love to see him take the Seastone Chair, but I’m unsure if that’s the best thing for him. All I really want for him is to know and be comfortable with himself, even after Ramsay ruined him physically, and be happy. Maybe a Greyjoy dream team of Asha and Theon ruling the Iron Islands together and they become the best sibling duo in the history of the Iron Islands.

I JUST WANT HAPPINESS OK ; ___________;. This series has not been kind to a lot of my favourites, I just want peace for them by the end (but preferably living peace).

Comments

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