win or die

[latrans.livejournal.com]

Name: Kaz
How did you find out about the community? If it's through an LJ user, please tell us who it is (individual user if possible, not just a community name!): I saw it mentioned by a few people in communities I was in when it first opened, but I’d only read half of A Game of Thrones at that point and had no intention of continuing. Yes, I was young and very stupid.
Age: 22
Location: East Coast, USA
Occupation: Student, Wildlife Conservation.




All About You

1. Describe your ideal house/home. Please go into as much detail as possible, and be sure to include your ideal geographical location in the description!.

This changes depending on my mood. In all honesty, I can’t see myself settling down in one place in the near future. Eventually, I’d like to find a home that I could live in with any loved ones and pets, but what that home looks like will depend on my need and desires at the time.

Some things that I know will never change, though: I have to be in/near a city and I need accessible wilderness areas nearby. Although I really love the quietness of deserts and forests (so long as you don’t have a pack of coyotes howling outside of your tent), I get fidgety if I don’t have city life to distract myself with. I love cafes, museums, nightclubs, and public events. I’m currently in a 7K town with some basic amenities (a coffee shop and first reel movie theater) and I can’t stand it for more than a month. I’m used to things happening. No matter what exactly it is I want to do, I’m used to there being an option whenever I want to do it. Rural life isn’t like that. I love nature. I love it. But sometimes I just want to rave, see a local band at a teashop, or spend the entire day looking at great artworks from around the world. And, while I appreciate indie stores, small town stores really aren’t my thing.

Aside from that, I currently want to live in a loft apartment. I like vintage and contemporary styles, so my interior decorating would blend the two. I could go into more detail about it, but I’d be writing forever and ever and who cares. I don’t need many rooms. A big bathroom with a nice vanity, a bedroom, a TV/couch room connected to a kitchen, and some kind of studio is really all I want. A balcony with enough room for a small table would be awesome, as well.

2. Imagine you’re given the classic opportunity: a genie granting you three wishes. What would you wish for? Please be as elaborate as you can. Wishing for more wishes is not permitted!

If this were real life, I’d tell the genie where to shove his wishes because wishes like that come with strings attached (ex, wishing for an end to world hunger would probably mean the extinction of all humans so there would be no humans to go hungry) and are, imo, Not Worth It. Anyway, I can get most of the things I want in life if I try hard enough.

But, for the sake of the question:

1) I’ve been plagued with near-constant achy tiredness since I was about sixteen. It sucks. I think it’s partially me being lazy, because it’s worse when I give in and lay around all day, but even when I’m super active, I don’t feel 100%. I’ve been to doctors and they think I’m being dramatic, but I’m not. I didn’t used to be this way and I want it gone. At heart, I’m an energetic person and I want to do all the things, but I often feel so crappy that I either can’t, don’t, or don’t enjoy it.

2) MONEY FOREVER. Who wouldn’t want this? I’d be able to pay off all debts, live anywhere I wanted to, travel whenever I wanted to, give large sums to who/whatever I felt deserved it… It’d be an odd sort of freedom from the daily grind everyone has to struggle through. I am not a grinder: I get too lost in my own fantasies and have too many authority issues to ever hold a steady job without lots of depression and life-hatred. It’d be nice not to have that hanging over my head all the time.

3) For the people of the world to start caring more about environmental issues. Personally, I like this planet. I don’t really want to go to another one. I hate the whole “That’s what Mars is for” response I get from my father (who is, btw, totally serious) when I bring up the overpopulation issue. And, actually, it’d be amazing if people cared more in general. In my opinion, this is like wishing for a man to learn to fish as opposed to wishing for a man to have a fish, if that makes sense. There will always be problems. I’d love it if apathy wasn’t one of them anymore because that is the root of all bad things.

3. In your life so far, what accomplishment are you the most proud of? Why? You can list more than one if you have trouble deciding. ;)

There are “accomplishments” I’ve been proud of—like writing some pretty good stories or blowing organic chemistry out of the water—but I feel like the answer to this question should be more profound. With that in mind… I don’t know. I haven’t done much. I guess the best thing I’ve done is kept the ball rolling no matter what’s happened to me, even when it’s been the hardest thing in the world to get out of bed in the morning. My train wreck of a childhood still affects me in a lot of ways, especially since a few of my problems are self-inflicted and old habits die hard, but I feel like I’ve risen to the occasion and done more with myself than other people in similar situations have.

4. Which of the following is most important to you: Love, Money, Knowledge, Family, Friendship, Adventure, or Pleasure? Which is the least important to you? Please explain why for each choice.

Love is the most important thing for me. Not romantic love—I’m pretty much a failboat at romantic relationships—but love in general. Without love, none of the other things listed would mean anything. Seriously, think about it. Having any one of those things without loving something would lead to a soulless, unhappy existence. You might as well be dead.

The least important to me is probably family, because if you’re my family and you’re not my friend, then I give no fucks about you. Or at least no more fucks that I give about the average person on the street. I learned pretty early on that family is made of people, just like the rest of society, and some people suck and some people don’t and forcing yourself to care about someone more just because of blood is a tragedy waiting to happen. My relationship with my family is ehh. Some people are Jesus freaks, some people are legitimately insane, and all of them love to shove their opinions down your throat and belittle you for thinking differently… but they’re not all bad and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t one of them. However, I guess in being like them, I’m naturally wary of anyone related to me because that’s just how my family rolls. Crappy people are crappy people, blood relative or no.

5. What's one quote (or passage, song lyric, etc.) that effectively describes you and your values? Explain.

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” - Mahatma Gandhi

I don’t think I live up to this as well as I could, but I really hate armchair critics and people who don’t do anything about all the bad stuff on the planet. I’m also critical of people who care about issues but then constantly undermine them by their behavior (for example, I strive to be environmentally friendly and yet I am still a product junkie… a very careful product junkie, but a product junkie nonetheless and I don’t even want to think about the amount of electricity that I use). I believe that, if you truly want something to be a certain way, you have to live and breathe it yourself before you can expect that change to take hold in others.

and

“Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.” – James Dean

Again, I don’t live up to this as much as I’d like to. I blame college. But I want to live my life before I die. I’m terrified of becoming just another drone in a suit and I will do everything I can to avoid that.

6. How do you manage your money? On that note, how important is money/financial security to you? Go into as much detail as you can.

Well, I just bought a $79 bronze dragon earcuff instead of buying groceries. What does that tell you? lol (it’s so pretty, though)

In my own way, I manage my money decently. “My own way” mostly means ignoring my bills until the last possible minute before paying them off, but! I’ve never been in debt and my credit is awesome. I can’t really comment further than that because I haven’t had a real chance at managing finances. I deal with school bills, taxes, car bills, etc, but… idk, I feel like the real world (read: rent) will be an interesting experience for me on the financial front. I think I’ll manage okay, though. I just have to learn that food > jewelry. Maybe.

As for how I feel about it… I think it’s more important to me than is generally considered acceptable, but lookit. I like pretty things, I like good food, I like going places, and I like going out. I like being able to help out people in need as opposed to being in any kind of need myself. I love animals and want to be able to own quite a few without worrying about their welfare while they’re with me. I want to be able to take care of myself if I get sick and fix things if they’re broken. I don’t ever want to be limited by a lack of funds.

7. Name (and elaborate on) some of your hobbies. What are your favorite things to do outside of school/the office?

Obviously, I like to read. I’ve been reading since I was a tiny humanoid and I feel empty if I don’t have some kind of literature to devour every day. Lately, I’ve mostly been reading journal articles and such (thanks, school), but fiction is my favorite. I’m pretty discerning about what I read, though. I wish I were easier to please on that front, but whatever.

And, like everyone else on livejournal, I love to write. Again, something I’ve been doing since I was about four. This is probably my favorite hobby because I’m pretty good at it… when I actually sit down and finish a story, which doesn’t happen as often as I like. I want to be a writer and have been told that I should be a writer, but… while almost every waking moment of my life is spent writing stories in my head, I have trouble with writing them out because I’m constantly editing them.

A hobby that I fell out of for a while but have recently picked back up is the classical guitar. Guitar in general is my favorite instrument and I really love the mellow sound of nylon strings. And finger picking! At the moment, I’m pretty rusty, but I’m getting better. Eventually, I want to move on to other plucked string instruments (I currently own a ukulele as well), but right now I’m focusing on getting back to the “halfway decent” level of classical guitar.

Is event-going considered a hobby? I love festivals, concerts, and plays and try to go to as many of them as I can afford. I like putting together costumes and being in places where people are at their most creative. I find it inspirational. One of the things on my “To Do Before 30” list is to go to Burning Man. It seems like an amazing experience and I want to be part of it.

I also love to travel. I don’t get out of the country that often because I own a car, not a plane, but I travel around the US quite a bit. However, some day I want to take a year off and travel the world. I love other cultures, other landscapes and ecosystems (hello, bio-nerd), exotic foods, and I especially love languages. Russian is one of my favorite things on this planet.

I’m outdoors-inclined, as well. I do love city fun (clubs, museums, etc) as mentioned in my first answer, but I can’t live without nature. I love to hike, bike, kayak, sail, ski, snowshoe, and so on and so forth. I like pressing wildflowers and climbing trees and I especially love swimming (in pools, yes, but also in lakes, oceans, and rivers, provided they’re not horribly polluted). I love raw beauty, even if said raw beauty could kill me in an instant (maybe especially so).

And then there’s games. I’m not a huge video gamer, but I have a few select games I play constantly: The Sims (3 now), Black & White, and Neverwinter Nights. I also like Pokemon: Heart Gold and White, Left 4 Dead (1 & 2), Dragon Age: Origins, and Halo 3 but I own zero video game consoles, so I don’t play any of those often. I play D&D from time to time as well, but finding time for that with other people is difficult. My love of games is probably linked to my love of movies, reading, writing, etc… I like being wrapped up in fictional universes.

Lastly, I’m into a lot of creative crap. I like making things. I crochet, draw, paint, make costumes/my own clothes, cook (this counts), etc. I’m not particularly great at any of these things because I’ve got, if you can’t tell, quite a few hobbies and not enough time or money, but I really do like to do all of these things and am trying to better myself in all of them.

8. Name three things you are afraid of. Explain.

1) Failing miserably. This is really an umbrella fear for multiple fears. I don’t want to lose myself, I don’t want to be average, I don’t want to fail at anything that I set out to do. I want my life to be lived on my terms and I want to be at least moderately content.

2) Being on fire and horribly burned. My relationship with fire is complicated. I used to light things on fire often as a stress release and even now I like to watch things (things that aren’t animals, I should say) burn. I like the smell and the sound and I think it’s absolutely beautiful. However… it scares the crap out of me. I don’t want to be burned (every time I’ve caught fire, it’s only burned my hair or my clothes before my reflexes kicked in to save the day) and, if I ever am horribly burned, I don’t want to live through it. I’d rather be maimed in other ways.

3) Centipedes. I can’t handle them. I deal with insects and spiders on a regular basis and most don’t even faze me, but centipedes? They hurt. And all those creepy legs. omfg

9. Name (and elaborate on) your top three BEST and top three WORST qualities (personality-related, not physical). Please answer as fully as you can, as this is an important question.

Best:

1) I am, for the most part, intelligent. I’m usually decent at anything I try and, though I definitely make my fair share of stupid mistakes, I’m always able to work my way through them.

2) I am resilient. I’ve been through some horrible things and I’ve come through it. In some cases, bouncing back took me a little while and I may not be fully healed even now, but I believe that I’m capable of overcoming any tragedy that life can throw at me.

3) I am a halfway decent friend. I don’t think this shines through well on the internet, but I’m a pretty stoic and emotionally distant person. I’m not good at comforting people. I fail as a friend in that regard. But, if you need me, I will be there. It doesn’t matter how far away you are, I will come. I will also do as much as I can to make you happy (unless that involves talking about emotional problems whilst sober, because I’m incapable of doing that).

Worst:

1) I am complicated. I’ve been told that I’m hard to get to know, and I think I agree. I also wrote five different elaborations for this trait and they all were too convoluted, so I’ll just leave it at: I’m moody, impulsive, private, outgoing, distant, stoic, emotional, and a loner all at once and it confuses people. Hell, it confuses me.

2) I am vain. I don’t want to think about how much makeup, hair product, clothes, and jewelry I have. In actuality, it’s probably not that much, but for a poor college student, it’s a lot. I like pretty things and I like at least trying to be a pretty thing.

3) I hate asking for help. I used leave stores if someone comes up and asks me if I need anything, even if I desperately need help. Now, I’ll often just go with it, but it still irks me and I’ve yet to ever go to a professor’s office hours. I don’t know why this is—I think maybe I don’t like asking for help until I’ve exhausted all possibilities and, by that point, I’ve usually found the answer? idk




A Song of Ice and Fire Related

1.How many books from the series have you completed?

I’ve read the first four and had A Dance With Dragons so spoiled for me that I’m not sure I’d find anything new if I actually read the book. Which I will, soon, but this godforsaken town has exactly one copy that has a zillion holds on it and we don’t have a real bookstore, only a used one. I have to wait until I get back to civilization to get it.

2.Who are your favorite three characters in the series? Why?

Jaime Lannister – ”I seldom fling children from towers to improve their health.” lolforever. I always was curious about him, especially after he threw Bran out the window for love “with loathing,” and he did not disappoint me. I’m glad he broke out from under Cersei and his father because I think they were holding him back and I’m interested to see if his character is strong enough to find a new purpose in life.

Rhaegar Targaryen – Though this might seem like an odd choice, I tend to like background characters because I like to wonder about them and play with them in my head. Rhaegar seems like he was an amazing person and he’s my favorite to think about.

Euron Greyjoy – trolololo. He’s a pirate. I don’t know, I can’t explain why I like him because he’s such a heinous person, but he makes me happy.

3.Who are your least favorite three characters in the series? Why?

Cersei Lannister – I. hate. this woman. She’s a straight up idiot. I can appreciate “evil” but crafty characters to an extent (see: Petyr), but she’s not even that. She’s basically a huge wrecking ball who is blind to the fact that she’s destroying herself while hurting everyone else. No respect. I feel like Cersei and Jaime are, in a way, truly two halves of a whole, it’s just Jaime got all the worthwhile bits.

Robert Baratheon – I blame him for all this crazy. Actually, I should probably thank him because without his stupid war, there wouldn’t be a story, but whatever. Anyway, he was a drunken wife-beater. Even though I hate Cersei’s rotten guts, she still didn’t deserve what he did to her. And all his poor children. I don’t condemn promiscuity if that’s what you really want to do, but you better be prepared to own up to the consequences. Sixteen kids plus three more that he thought were his own and he didn’t spare any of them a second thought. Even Walder Frey did better than that. Grade A Tool right there.

Walder Frey – I think everyone hates Walder Frey.

4.#1 Favorite moment in all of ASOIAF so far? Why?

Probably when Eddard Stark was beheaded. Ned was such an honorable hero type, I feel like you were meant to think he’d make it to the end of the series triumphant, like most characters like him do. Instead, Martin stood up and said, “Nope, no one is safe.” It makes the series that much more suspenseful.

5. In your dream-world, how would you like to see the series end, and why?

I want R+L=J. I’m not sure if I believe it, but that’s what I want. Jaime should continue his upward spiral while Cersei continues downward. I’d like Cersei to die and Jaime to live, but I feel like Martin is building up for them to die together (which would suck… but my favorite characters always die, so I’ve learned to accept it). I want the battle with the Others to involve everyone and I want it to shake the kingdoms into realizing that they have bigger problems than all of their petty lord crap. I kind of want Sansa to reign supreme as well. She’s not a favorite, but I think she’s really coming into her own and it’d be a shame if it went to waste.

Comments

Tully

[moryssa.livejournal.com]

I can definitely see the Dragon influence, but I think you're very much a Lannister. It's partially because of your slightly pessimistic view of the world and your non-trust of the genie (no, thanks-- I'll do it myself!), your slightly self-driven nature and the desire for the freedom of money, and your complicated attitude toward love (failboat at romantic love, but WANT that connection badly), and even your quotes (dream big & live life to the fullest and if you don't like the way something works, change it)... but your best/worst traits just sort of sealed it for me.