win or die

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Name: Erica
How did you find out about the community? If it's through an LJ user, please tell us who it is (individual user if possible, not just a community name!): lunylucy has mentioned it a few times, and I finally am biting the bullet.
Age: 24
Location: Good question. I’m currently in Wisconsin, but I could end up anywhere within the continental US.
Occupation: Again, good question, but I’ve most recently been a teacher and I want to be in education in some form.




All About You

1.Describe your ideal house/home. Please go into as much detail as possible, and be sure to include your ideal geographical location in the description!.
I don't have an exact location in mind, but it’d be about an hour away from a large city--far enough away that I wouldn’t have to deal with crazy traffic and would be able to see the stars at night, but close enough so I could take advantage of the creature comforts of an urban experience (theater, music, bookstores, coffeeshops). It’d also be close to water. I have always lived in places with a major lake or river nearby, and I sort of orient myself to water. I was on the rowing team in college, and I just love being on or near the water, always have. It’d also have to be in an area that experiences all four seasons. I grew up in the northern US, I love autumn, and to a lesser degree spring, and I take a sort of perverse joy in getting through the winter. I love visiting places with different climates, but for home, I’d need the variation.

The house itself would be pretty small and cozy. It’d have a spacious kitchen, though--I love to cook, especially with people around to talk to and sample things. I’d love at least one fireplace, and an extra bedroom for guests to stay over. Style-wise, I’d like warm colors and lots of wood; basically, hobbit-hole-esque. And my dream is a turret library. If not a turret (because that doesn’t really fit well with a small, cozy, cottage feel that I want otherwise), definitely some sort of library, with lots of books, a window seat, and a big leather chair. A nice, big slab of a desk would be nice too. Outside, I’d have lots of trees, and sort of a sense of seclusion, plus a small vegetable and herb garden.


2. Imagine you’re given the classic opportunity: a genie granting you three wishes. What would you wish for? Please be as elaborate as you can. Wishing for more wishes is not permitted!

The number one thing I wish for right now is to know my life direction, but actually I wouldn’t wish for that if a genie were to show up, because it’s really important to me that I figure it out myself. I’m currently coming out of a 5-year relationship and two years of teaching, which changed my life and convinced me that I want to be involved in education, but I’m not sure how or where. I plan to take up graduate study at some point, but again, not sure what or where.
Anyway, what I’d ask for from the genie would be the peace of mind to trust myself to make the best decisions, and to allow myself to take the time and really think about who I am and where I’m going.

Wish #2 would probably be an all-expenses paid trip to Europe. I studied classics in college, and I’ve always regretted that I didn’t study abroad and actually see some of the sites I read and wrote about, not to mention the rest of the enormous history and culture there. It’s still a big dream of mine, and it will happen someday--but darn it, being a responsible adult with a job (and not that much savings, yet) has made the reality of the trip difficult. Even when I do go, I’m going to have to really prioritize. The chance to just go, take my time, eat, drink, be merry, and fully experience Europe would be amazing.

Wish #3: The opportunity to rebuild some relationships. I really value my friends, but I’ve moved a fair amount, and every time I have I’ve not done a great job of keeping up with people, so there are a lot of awesome people I’ve lost touch with. I’m really feeling this now, as I’m getting ready to move again, and I feel fairly lonely. If I could go back and just drop in a phone call here and there to some of my high school and college friends, I think I’d have a fuller life now and in the future.

3. In your life so far, what accomplishment are you the most proud of? Why? You can list more than one if you have trouble deciding. ;)

One of my former students, who’s now in college, was interviewed about her high school experience (by an organization I’m part of, so I got this through the grapevine) and said I taught her everything she needed to know for college, and her math classes last year were easy for her even though she’s typically struggled in math. I’m proud of this because, hey, it’s why I teach, and I always wonder, “am I actually getting through? Is this making a difference, really?” This particular student was also someone who was actually sort of a troublemaker and at first impression seemed like she would be a challenge, but I’m proud that I was able to see past that and build a good relationship with her—-I think she was successful in my class because she knew I cared about her but also wasn’t going to put up with any foolishness. Teaching’s the hardest thing I’ve done so far, and I think in general the things I’m most proud of are those I’ve worked the hardest to accomplish. This anecdote is, I think, representative of my success in teaching more generally (not that it’s been all success, but I’m still proud of what I’ve done).

4. Which of the following is most important to you: Love, Money, Knowledge, Family, Friendship, Adventure, or Pleasure? Which is the least important to you? Please explain why for each choice.

Most important: Love, though not in the romantic sense only (or primarily, or even, really, at all). I really like that Greek has more than one word for love, because there really are so many different kinds, but I’m also thankful for the English mono-term because it’ll let me get away with including multiple kinds of love here. Self-love: understanding and enjoying who I am; love of my family, love of my friends, love of humanity in general… I think you could sort of rewrite each of the other concepts above as "Love of money," etc., if you were defining them as characteristics, so love covers it all. I can’t imagine life without knowing there are people and ideas I’d give my life for, and that there are people who’d do the same for me. I think you could put a lot of names to that, but I’m calling it love.

Least important: Pleasure. Yeah, ok, I totally enjoy being comfortable. But I can imagine, and in an odd way am even a little drawn to, an ascetic life. I think when a lot of material things are stripped away, I at least appreciate the beauty in simplicity and the small things, and it’s a lot easier to focus on what’s really important.

5. What's one quote (or passage, song lyric, etc.) that effectively describes you and your values? Explain.
Hope is my philosophy / Just needs days in which to be / Love of life means hope for me / Born on a new day (here's the song it's from: New Day)

It’s pretty straightforward, I think. Life goes on and as long as there’s life, there’s hope. I think there’s always something to find joy in, even if it’s very small—-and if not today, then tomorrow’s coming around soon enough.

6. How do you manage your money? On that note, how important is money/financial security to you? Go into as much detail as you can.
Thanks to good guidance, I’m pretty on top of it. I make a budget every month, limit my discretionary spending, and put a certain amount into the savings account. (I actually have two savings accounts, one that’s accessible in case of short-term emergencies and one that’s longer term, that I won’t withdraw from really at all.) I have a credit card that I use every month and pay off the whole balance. I’m fortunate enough not to have any loans to manage, so that keeps my financial life pretty simple.
It’s important to me to have enough money to live my life independently, and to be able to provide myself with food, a home, and other necessities. I try to manage things so I’ll be able to do that and also enjoy myself a bit too, and I’ve been successful in that so far.

7. Name (and elaborate on) some of your hobbies. What are your favorite things to do outside of school/the office?

I love to read—-that’s probably the only hobby I can truly say I’ve had as long as I can remember. I actually get a bit twitchy if I have down time and can’t read. I just love being able to escape into worlds someone else has created, and that way experience things that are impossible for me otherwise for whatever reason. And there’s also the joy of seeing how the craft works, how words are chosen and put together to create different effects. (I think beyond books, I just love experiencing really good stories, but literature’s my favorite medium).

Running: Oddly enough, a few years ago I hated to run. Absolutely hated it. I always used to hear about friends doing marathons and think or say “that’s so awesome, I can’t run.” And then one day I was really frustrated at something, I don’t remember what, and just needed to physically do something immediately; it was too much of a hassle even to get my bike out, so I just went out the door and ran until I couldn’t. Since then I’ve wavered in my regularity with it, but I take a lot of pride in the fact that I am learning to do, and am enjoying, something I used to tell myself I couldn’t. It feels great to be physically and mentally stronger, I love the rhythm of it and the way doing something with my body lets my mind go free.

Music: I was a ballet dancer when I was younger, and I picked up an appreciation for music pretty early on. I’ve sung, both solo and in choirs, played the piano, and been in a handbell group. I’m not currently doing any music creation, but I really miss it, working to make something beautiful. I do really enjoy listening to music, too—-I have a special love for early and classical music, but I’ll listen to anything at least once.

8. Name three things you are afraid of. Explain.
Falling, both literally and metaphorically. I hate those dreams of falling where you wake up with your heart pounding. But I’m also scared of the failing sort of falling--of working really hard to get somewhere or to become good at something, and then just totally losing it.

Being misjudged. I would like to think other people’s opinions of me don’t matter, but that’s not completely true. I would hate to miss out on a potentially awesome friendship, or unintentionally create an enemy, because someone thinks wrongly of me. I’m quite an introvert, so I’m often afraid of coming off as snobbish when really I’m just very nervous when meeting new people or in big groups.

Losing my mind. I’ve watched my grandfather suffering through Alzheimer’s and having that, or something similar, happen to me really scares me. A lot of what I value in myself is mental, and to not be able to fully function in that way, even if I didn’t realize I wasn’t fully functioning, would be awful.

9. Name (and elaborate on) your top three BEST and top three WORST qualities (personality-related, not physical). Please answer as fully as you can, as this is an important question.

Best:
I work hard. A lot of my co-workers make fun of me for it, actually. I work hard on my hobbies, too, and my relationships. Basically, if I’m in, I’m all in, 110%. I’ve had to learn to therefore be careful about what I take on, so I don’t drive myself crazy.

I’m a good thinker. I say this instead of “intelligent” because the latter can mean so many different things, and I wanted to be specific. Part of this is that I like thinking; I really enjoy gathering information, reflecting on it, and drawing conclusions. And I’m good at that process, too, at making logical, evidence-based connections, summarizing, inferring.

I push myself to grow. I really like putting myself in new circumstances, places or positions that are totally unlike everything I’ve experienced, and then figuring out how to succeed. Basically, the more difficult it is, the more I want to try it.

Worst:
I’m self-centered. I think one of the reasons my last relationship ended was that I was so wrapped up in my own world that our communication broke down. I wasn’t sharing enough of myself. Quite often, I just want to be left alone, and I’ve had difficulty making and maintaining friendships because of that.

I worry too much. Mostly about inconsequential things. When I’m traveling, I’ll want to know every detail and get to the airport way in advance, and sometimes I’ll just work myself up into anxiety over what’s either not important or not under my control.

I’m indecisive. In both little things and big life decisions (my life right now is one big muddle of indecision). In small things, I’ll often let someone else make the choice because I’d be ok with whatever.





A Song of Ice and Fire Related

1.Who are your favorite three characters in the series? Why?
I am so grateful I get to pick three, because choosing one would be pretty close to impossible. I’m not sure on the order of these 3, as it changes throughout the books, but they are:

1. Tyrion Lannister. The first time we meet him, he’s just like “yes, I’m a dwarf, yes, I’m a Lannister, deal with it,” and I just loved that strong sense of self from the beginning. Reading on and seeing the complex interior and the self-loathing inside made me love him even more. Tyrion’s incredibly resourceful: life has handed him a really raw deal, but he’s played it very well. He reads because he knows, for someone like him, knowledge is the best chance at power, and he’s intelligent. He’s taken prisoner and manages to use his mind, tongue, and family’s wealth to not only get himself out alive, but be able to ride up to his father’s army with his own army in tow. He makes a damn good Hand (and never really gets any recognition for it). He goes into battle and leads a charge when no one else will.

And he’s not perfect, or even arguably good (which actually I love, and love about all the characters, they’re so much more interesting that way) but his imperfections make sense. I think it’s really interesting that the repercussions of Tysha still haven’t faded after Tyrion kills Tywin--if anything, that’s gotten more intense.

2. Arya Stark. I’m a big sucker for tomboys, so Arya love was always going to be an easy sell for me (if I could pick four characters, Brienne would be up here too). Arya has a lot in common with Tyrion, I think, in that both really don’t fit the world’s expectation of what they should be, and the world looks down on them for it, and they go on with their bad selves and do awesome things anyway. In the beginning of the series, Arya’s so fiercely dedicated to the truth, and so frustrated with Sansa hearing the song she wants instead of the reality. So it’s really interesting that Arya’s becoming a student of disguise, and I’m curious to see how she will continue developing and what her ultimate identity will be. Will she be a Stark? No one? A warrior? A queen? I think she has the potential to be and do anything, and I love her for it.

3. And (even though ADWD has sort of dialed this back a notch or two) Danerys Targaryen. I love that at first, Dany is almost a total non-entity. No one in Westeros is worried about her except as a brood mare for a male Targaryen; her brother abuses her and uses her as a bargaining chip. And then, she sheds her brother, transforms her marriage into one of mutual love, becomes a khaleesi. And then, when that life burns, she rises from the ashes even more, as a mother of dragons, and proceeds to free slaves and conquer half a continent. While she’s become powerful, I think she’s also an idealist and a bit naïve, unable to really see the costs of some of her actions or reliably judge who's on her side--and again, I really appreciate this part of her character, or else I’d just be going “and why is she not ruling the world already?” (which, ok, I still sort of am saying that.)

2.Who are your least favorite three characters in the series? Why?

Ok, this one’s a lot harder. Even some awful characters I appreciate simply because they are awful, and they are lots of fun to hate, and almost everyone has some sliver of light in them.

Viserys: If you really are a dragon, and you really want to sit the Iron Throne, do it already. Preferably without selling your sister, but hey, I might even be ok with that if he’d showed some backbone, cunning, or any other signs of being a good leader. He’s the major reason Dany started her arc living in fear, and that combined with a lack of any redeeming characteristic meant his crowning was a really satisfying scene for me.

Walder Frey: Probably a pretty obvious one, yeah? It’s not so much that he does atrocious things, like oh, organizing the Red Wedding, but that his main motivation seems to be “well, no one’s really ever taken me seriously.” It’s just so petty. I have way more sympathy for, say, Cersei doing some of the things she’s done to protect her children than for Walder’s actions.

Lysa Arryn nee Tully: She’s not had an easy time of it, but I still find Lysa’s head-in-the-sand attitude really frustrating. She just has a completely skewed view of reality, seems to be living in the past (especially where Littlefinger is concerned) and I just sorta want to shake her.

3.#1 Favorite moment in all of ASOIAF so far? Why?

This is going to sound weird, and it’s definitely not my favorite in terms of “yes, I’m so glad that happened” but it’s my favorite in “yes, I’m so glad GRRM wrote that that way”: Ned’s beheading. First, because it made me go “WHAT?” and I love it when stories do that to me (I’m usually pretty good at predicting stuff…not with ASOIAF.) Second, because it just makes sense for the characters. I love Ned, but he put honor before smart politics, and, well, you win or you die. Joffrey’s an ass, and so his turning around and saying “off with his head” totally made sense for him. And third, this moment was a total game-changer for everyone. Arya had to deal with seeing her father murdered and figure out how to survive. Sansa, same thing, only she also had to deal with the fact that she’d basically delivered him to Joffrey, who’s now been irrevocably revealed to be a total ass, and she has to live with that and him. Cersei has to deal with the fact that her son’s not going to be a total puppet king, the Lannisters in general have to deal with the rising of the North, and so on. Plus, I just love the fact that the guy who for all intents and purposes was The Hero is dead at the end of Act I.

4. In your dream-world, how would you like to see the series end, and why?
Dany returns to Westeros, and she and the dragons aid in the fight against the Others, who are ultimately defeated (though not for forever, just for a while; that would be TOO happy of an ending). She doesn’t take the Iron Throne though--no one does. Instead, the Seven Kingdoms go their own ways, since everyone is tired of fighting and there really isn’t a compelling reason for them to be united without a strong leader to take them all.

Dolorous Edd is the final commander of the Night's Watch, and dies heroically in battle against the Others. (Dolorous Edd is one of my favorite minor characters, and I think it would be awesome for him to have a heroic end, giving mournful predictions all the way.)

The remaining Starks reunite, at least briefly (kids AND direwolves!) and there is a Stark at Winterfell, who is King/Queen in the North. Arya is doing something awesome, not sure what. Sansa finds and marries her knight in shining armor and has lots of kids.(Sansa has grown so much and I think she should have a happy ending.)

Tyrion finds a way to forgive himself for Tysha, and just has a happy ending in general.

Ramsey Bolton dies horribly. Walder Frey outlives all of his family before finally dying.

We learn more about how/why magic works in this world, and find out Jon’s true parentage. I also really want someone to visit the Doom of Valyria and the Shadow of Asshai before the end, too, because I’m really intrigued about those locations. And we get an official map of the world! (I love maps).

I was trying to think of some more realistically unhappy endings, but hey, this is my dream, right?

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Tyrell

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Tully