it's not whether you win or die, it's how you play the...wait a minute

[manananggirl.livejournal.com]

Name: J
How did you find out about the community? If it's through an LJ user, please tell us who it is (individual user if possible, not just a community name!): I followed a link that led to a link that led to a link
Age: 28
Location: Metro Manila, Philippines
Occupation: Physician




All About You

1. Describe your ideal house/home. Please go into as much detail as possible, and be sure to include your ideal geographical location in the description!.

Since we're talking about ideals, I can't limit myself to one- my ideal homes would be (a) condo in the city, (b) home in the nearby suburbs, (c) beach house.

Condo in the city: I have a teeny-tiny studio that I share with my sister right now, but other than the size, I've no problems with it. The building is great. So ideally I'd like a way bigger condo but pretty much the same amenities the building I'm currently in has got: spacious common area with free wifi, great gym, an infinity pool. Oh, and I would like to live in a place that allows pets. As for the condo itself, just more space than I currently have and a better kitchen.

Beach house: I want one in Tali Beach, Batangas. I have such great memories of that place, but the opportunities to hang out there are now few and far between because my access to that place always depends on a friend of a friend or a relative of a friend who owns a beach house there. I want to go there whenever I want and hang out without having to make arrangements and ask for favours or rent someone else's house. There's a great place to go cliff diving there, so I'd like the property to be located near said cliffs. As for how it looks like, here:



All right, I grant that photo doesn't show great detail of the house but it does for the cliff diving :D

For the interior, I don't really think much about decorating the places I live in at the outset. It just happens over time and I like it that way. It makes every item, knicknack, etc have a story or memory tied to it. All I want is for the beach house to have an efficient and ergonomically designed, spacious kitchen. And en suite bathrooms.

House in the suburbs: again, same decorating scheme (if you can even call it that) as above. The house I grew up in, it's got stuff from everywhere my parents, my sister, and I have been to. Maybe some people will think it looks totally cluttered but I don't care. I'd like a big garden too. And a pool. A lap pool is fine. It would be great to have an entertainment room (for movies, sound system, video games), a music room (place for a piano, guitars, maybe a drum set if I have children who will take up drumming someday because I've tried and the drums? Not for me), and a gaming room (ping pong table, maybe a billiard table, definitely a table for RPGs). A kitchen that the Food Network could film in. A library. En suite bathrooms. Also, the house should be energy efficient. Good ventilation, materials, and window placement so that I'm not reliant on electricity so much for lighting and temperature control.

2. Imagine you’re given the classic opportunity: a genie granting you three wishes. What would you wish for? Please be as elaborate as you can. Wishing for more wishes is not permitted!

(a) Time travel and teleportation. I'm counting those as one wish because those superpowers are related! Bending space and time counts as one thing, right? (Physicists, help me out here. I'm basing this on a very minimal understanding of the space time continuum and tessering from A Swiftly Tilting Planet.) Why time travel: I have a lot of regrets. I don't even want to change anything too major (yeah, yeah, butterfly effect, infinite number of universes, whatever), I just want to give past me a letter detailing some slight pitfalls that present me wishes had been avoided.

I'm going to abuse the everloving fuck out of teleportation, however. I hate getting stuck in traffic, I hate walking in the rain (when it rains here, it REALLY pours), I hate waiting in lines.

(b) I have a physical ailment. It led to a pretty bad accident that required surgical correction but even after surgery and rehabilitation I'm not 100% a-ok in that department. It also led to the discovery of other physical ailments. I would like to not have those ailments anymore.

(c) World peace. I'd feel bad if I had these wishes and I used them all on myself. I'd have to think of a way to carefully word this one, though. (Well, I'd have to carefully word all the wishes, anyway, but I'd take extra care with this one.) I don't want world peace at the expense of personal freedoms, or the eradication of different cultures leaving us with one homogenous way of life across the board. I don't know how to explain it better. Let's just say that I don't want to wish the world in a John Lennon "Imagine" situation because I find that creepy as hell. (Although it took the A Perfect Circle cover to enlighten me on just how creepy that song is.)

3. In your life so far, what accomplishment are you the most proud of? Why? You can list more than one if you have trouble deciding. ;)

I survived medical school! I've had patients come up to me and tell me I've made a difference in their lives for real!

Also, that physical ailment thing made me unable to walk for a while and the day I was able to walk without any devices assisting me was the day where I felt like king of the world. When I can run again I'm probably going to feel even better (working on that).

4. Which of the following is most important to you: Love, Money, Knowledge, Family, Friendship, Adventure, or Pleasure? Which is the least important to you? Please explain why for each choice.

Family. Without going into detail, my relationship with my parents hasn't always been the best. Lots of difficulties happened. There have been several points where one person (not always the same person each time) felt like giving up on having any good family dynamic whatsoever. But we worked at it. Super worked at it. And now, we're okay. Not super happy families but getting more supportive and understanding of each other. The relationship with my family is something I worked hard at, to make it good. And once I had that, all other aspects of my life are easier. Having my family behind me makes me more confident that I'll get through tough times.

Also, my sister is the most important person in my life. She's my best friend, too, and everything else doesn't seem as fun or meaningful if I'm not sharing it with her. And she's the absolute, 100% sure person I know will stand by me no matter what (but won't hesitate to pull the punches if I'm being stupid) and she knows I'll do the same for her too.

Basically, family is the most important to me because they're my first go to places for love and friendship, and all my adventures are meaningless when not shared with my sister. (Exploring foreign cities by myself? Exciting but still lonely. Getting stuck in a limestone cave in a kayak because my sister and I know diddly squat about rowing? BEST TIME EVER.)

And when it comes to money my family is pretty much well whoever has it, share it. I'm currently unemployed. My sister and mom are helping me out. When I had a job, it was my sister and my parents who were having the tough times, so I helped them out.

With regard to friendship, as I mentioned earlier, my sister is my best friend. Many of my good friends I also consider practically family. With each friendship that gets stronger, my family just gets bigger.

Least important: pleasure. It's just the offshoot of everything else from that list. If you have your relationships well in hand, your money managed, have a healthy curiosity about the world that you're able to satisfy, well, life will be mostly pleasant. I don't see it as end to achieve in and of itself.

5. What's one quote (or passage, song lyric, etc.) that effectively describes you and your values? Explain.

Nolite te bastardes carborundorum. (Unless that bastard is Jon Snow, in which case, he can grind me down all he wants, haha.) Anyway. I first encountered this phrase in The Handmaid's Tale, which I was reading when I was going through some tough times. That phrase stuck with me, even though I know it's not real Latin and my Latin teacher was horrified to hear me use it once, and it's been my mantra ever since every time crap happens or people unleash giant assholery on me (in the past six years, without going into specifics, that has happened A LOT). I know it's just a fancy way of saying don't give up, this too shall pass, but I like the way it sounds.

On a happier note, "Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced." -Søren Kierkegaard

Because yeah, a lot of crap has happened to me, enough that I have considered seriously giving up on a lot of stuff, but I didn't, and when I rode out the storm, the world can be really, really beautiful! There's always something good going on! Whether it's the opportunity to see natural wonders around the world, or someone performing an act of kindness, or a song or a book or a piece of art or just some joke or really good coffee...there are all these things happening that balance out the anguish and the pain. It's just...it's great to be here in this world and be part of life. And even the anguish and the pain...there was a time when I couldn't walk and I was just hurting all the time and worried how I was going to pay all my medical bills and all sorts of other things going on, and some well-meaning people were telling me to look at this as a learning experience and focus on the bright side and I just wanted to scream at them. Like, fuck you and your optimism, you didn't have your dreams shattered at one fell swoop. But, I don't know, somehow I got over that and life started looking good once again, and even if I never get back to the way I was before all that stuff happened it's okay. I'd like for things to be different (as evidenced by my genie wishes above) but I know they can't be, so I'm just going to take whatever life has to offer and enjoy it.

6. How do you manage your money? On that note, how important is money/financial security to you? Go into as much detail as you can.

I always have savings somewhere, somehow, no matter what. When the money's rolling in, I put away what I can without totally depriving myself of the little physical pleasures in life because I know there will come a day when the money may not be rolling in. (See: the past two years.) My definition of financial security is "I have a place to live and I won't go hungry" so as long as those terms are fulfilled I'm fine. And as long as I don't have to resort to criminal activities to fulfill those terms, I'm fine.

7. Name (and elaborate on) some of your hobbies. What are your favorite things to do outside of school/the office?

Dancing. Aside from hitting the clubs I used to go to dance classes (hip hop and jazz) and one day I would like to resume that more seriously. I did a bit of ballroom dancing when I was a teenager, so I'd like to take that up again.

Swimming.

Playing the guitar/piano. I'm not really any good, I just like the pleasure of recreating my favourite songs/pieces of music by myself.

Reading. My favourite authors are Haruki Murakami, Jane Austen, C.S. Lewis and Alexandre Dumas. My favourite book series of all time is Anne of Green Gables. Guilty pleasure: revisiting childhood memories by way of Sweet Valley.

Watching movies. My favourite director of all time is Wong Kar-Wai, although friends who know this have told me to stay away from My Blueberry Nights because apparently it would make me sad.

Tabletop role playing games. The systems I currently play are Dungeons and Dragons 4e (but I prefer the Eberron- steampunkish- and Dark Sun- kind of like Dune mixed with Conan the Barbarian- settings rather than the usual Tolkien-esque thing people usually associate with D&D) and Shadowrun 4e (put simply, it's cyberpunk with elves and trolls and orks and magic). I also DM on occasion. My gaming group started playing the tri-stat Game of Thrones RPG without me, but at some nebulous point in the future they're going to incorporate me into that game, hopefully. I say hopefully because the GM enjoys playing with people who haven't read any of the books/watched the series since people who have metagame too much. (Case in point: the campaign my friends are currently playing involves investigating Robert Baratheon's bastards. The ones who know nothing about the books/series are getting really into it, looking into clues and thinking hard about problems etc etc. The rest are all, "WHAT COLOUR IS HIS HAIR" and the poor GM is constantly reminding them "YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT YET")

Crochet. Although I really only crochet bags for the sole purpose of holding my dice for tabletop roleplaying games.

Cooking and baking. I love experimenting in the kitchen, I love working at something that I can share with other people, and I love the whole process of it. The sights, the sounds, the smells, the texture. Also, I really love eating out and recreating that experience in my home because I can't afford to eat out all the time.

8. Name three things you are afraid of. Explain.

Eternity. My mind can't handle it. One of my earliest memories of grade school is crying in the playground after religion class because the teacher just taught us about being with God forever in heaven. And I was like, forever? As in, no end? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE MIND BLOWN. And I seriously remember praying that night to God not to give me an afterlife, can you just end my existence when I die because going on and on without end frightens me.

Yeah, I was a weird kid. And I guess I'm still weird because existence without end still frightens me.

Slippery surfaces, because a slippery surface led to my not being able to walk for a while and I'm still not that good at navigating them. And sometimes I flashback to that accident and I don't like that.

Failure. I've already failed at a lot of things. I don't want to fail anymore.

9. Name (and elaborate on) your top three BEST and top three WORST qualities (personality-related, not physical). Please answer as fully as you can, as this is an important question.

Best: I'm a really good listener. I'm not bullshitting people when I ask them to tell me about it; I'm really, seriously interested in what they have to say. I enjoy listening to other people. Even if they're whinging about their problems it's okay. I'll just let you talk and talk and ask pertinent questions so you know I'm really listening.

I've been told I'm funny. I like to amuse people and make them laugh. I love seeing people enjoy themselves. Related to that, I suppose, is that I throw great parties and make sure all the guests are having a good time. And sort of related to that is my patients love me and I've been told that I have really good bedside manner. That's important to me because I honestly believe that if you make people more comfortable and more at peace with things they will recover from ailments faster. Which is why I do not like House the TV series. Having a good bedside manner and knowing the best treatment for your patients do not have to be mutually exclusive. They shouldn't be!

I take criticism well and learn from my mistakes.

Worst: I procrastinate too much. Even if I'm given weeks to prepare for something you can bet your ass I'm mainlining coffee and cramming everything the night before. Somewhat related: I'm terribly disorganised. I'll just let chaos and clutter collect around me until it's an almost near-unfixable warzone. Then after exhausting myself after a massive cleanup project, I'll swear to just keep things in order so that I only have to do a little bit everyday instead of a lot in one go. Haha, of course I don't.

I think too much about what other people will think of me. I'm pathologically afraid of humiliation. This has led to stupid situations like not being able to eat out alone for years because I can't summon the courage to order from the waitstaff; not knowing I was on a date until we were making out on the dance floor; a missed connections post on craigslist that thankfully got flagged and removed.

I overthink and overanalyse everything. So much so that it prevents me from actually DOING anything sometimes. I'm getting better at getting over that, but I've still a long way to go. I especially hate this aspect of me because it leads to cockblocking (er, what's the term for women? Does cockblocking still apply since I don't want the cock blocked from me, either?) myself. Yep, I am my own best cockblocker.





A Song of Ice and Fire Related

1.Who are your favorite three characters in the series? Why?

Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish. I don't care that he's bad. I don't care that he's a creeper. I just love how cunning and crafty and tricksy he is. He's orchestrating everything! Plots within plots within plots! And if things don't go according to his plan, that's okay! He's got another one! He'll just think up stuff on the fly and make it work! LIKE A BOSS! I love him so much I need exclamation points to drive home the point!

Jaime Lannister. At first, I was all ready to hate him. What kind of person pushes off a little kid from a tower? Seriously? And incest is my number one major squick (why am I reading these books, then? I DO NOT KNOW), so I was grossed out by him and Cersei the entire time in Game of Thrones. Then with each succeeding book, I just started liking the way he was written more and more. He did some utterly despicable things, yet he did some good and honourable ones too. And I like how he really doesn't justify the bad things he did to himself; more like, yeah, I did some pretty shitty things, what you gonna do. And I like that he accepts his limitations and tries his damndest to excel at what he knows he can do well. In his own way he also does the best he can by the people he loves. Even if one of them is Cersei.

Davos Seaworth. Well, for one thing, I really love onions. As an aromatic, they're a really important component of many dishes. They form the foundation so many dishes are built upon. What's a good ragu without a soffritto? How about stock? Stew? Stir-fry? Onions give body to a dish. They bring out other flavours and make the entire thing more hearty. I can go without certain spices, vegetables, and flavourings, but when the onion jar runs out in my place I know it's time to hit the supermarket.

The Onion Knight is aptly named. He views himself as "common" just like an onion. Onions are so ubiquitous that people don't really spend a lot of time thinking about them. They're not like, say, saffron or turmeric or even paprika. But even though they're not fancy, they're indispensable. Just like Davos. His loyalty, practicality, and ability to call it as he sees it make him someone you totally want to have on your side. (The fact that Stannis Baratheon can see this is his only redeeming quality, for me.) He knows what's needed to see a job through. He's loyal to the man he swore allegiance to, but not so blindly loyal as to blinker himself or hold himself back when he thinks something's not on. He's incredibly resourceful and resilient. And I really feel for him when he just wants a simple life with his family; he just wants to be a good father and husband but he got swept up in this thing that's bigger than him so he's going to do his bit the best he can and then enjoy a nice comfy retirement. I hope he gets a nice comfy retirement. George R.R. Martin, please let him have that.

Honourable mentions: Dolorous Edd. Because he's fucking hilarious. Robb Stark, because the way he rose to the occasion after his father died and his subsequent growth after that was wonderful to behold. Yep, marrying Jeyne Westerling after entering a marriage contract with the Freys was stupid, but I didn't think he deserved the Red Wedding. Brienne, because she's just so awesome and determined and getting up despite all literal and metaphorical efforts to kick her down. Jon Snow, because he tries really, really hard (points for effort).

2.Who are your least favorite three characters in the series? Why?

The Freys, all the fucking Freys (well maybe not Cleos because I feel a bit sorry for him and his sons), especially Walder. I love how even in The Mystery Knight Walder Frey was shown as being such a little shit even at an early age. Even before the Red Wedding, I just couldn't get over how mean and annoying and petty this man is. So-and-so didn't go to your wedding? This dude didn't squire his son with you? GET OVER IT. Also, perhaps there's a reason all these other families are snubbing yours, did you think about that? And the way he manages his family is terrible, too. Most of the Freys I can recall are petty bullies trying to make up for their deficiencies by being assholes. They had to learn that from somewhere. Who else but Dad/Grandad/Greatgranddad?

Then the Red Wedding did happen and my hatred for Walder Frey and all that issued from his loins was sealed forever.

Selyse Baratheon nee Florent. Argh, she's just so unreasonable. Westeros has some concept of separation of church and state and freedom of religion. King Maegor knew a religion with its own military strength would be a really bad idea, so he abolished it (thanks, Cersei, for resurrecting that, see how it bites you in the ass). The Night's Watch lets its men choose which gods to swear by when taking their oath. Southeners are all lol those Northeners pray to trees while the Northeners are all we don't need your fancy septs and Ironborn are just woohoo, baptism extreme but they just let each other worship what they want. I don't get why Selyse has to impose and proselytise so much.

But if that were the only reason, I should have listed Melisandre too, and she's an even worse offender when it comes to proselytising. But I didn't, because I can see why Melisandre is trying so hard, even if I may not agree with it. She's genuinely afraid for the existence of humanity and to the best of her knowledge, she's doing what she can to combat the forces that would overwhelm the whole world. With Selyse, though, it just comes off as her liking the idea of being the queen and the wife of Azor Ahai reborn (if Stannis really is, which I doubt). She doesn't care about other people at all. And you can see it with the way she treats everybody who is not Melisandre or Shireen. She's even contemptuous of Stannis sometimes. And she just can't be reasoned with.

Ramsay Bolton. Okay, I have this friend who likes dead baby jokes and grimdark stories and always manages to say the most wildly inappropriate things. Many of the things he finds interesting others consider boring or gross or weird. He doesn't care about ASOIAF except to make jokes about how slow George R. R. Martin writes, so I felt free to talk about spoilerrific stuff with this other friend of ours in front of him. When we got to discussing Ramsay Bolton he suddenly interjected with, "WHAT THE HELL KIND OF BOOKS ARE THE TWO OF YOU READING?" Yeah. Ramsay Bolton. Christ on a cracker.

Runners-up: Gregor Clegane. He's a monster. Roose Bolton. So is he. Cersei Baratheon nee Lannister, because (I'm too lazy to search for who actually said it) she doesn't know what to do with the power she's got. So short-sighted and reactionary. Theon Greyjoy, because although I found him fun and interesting at first, and felt sorry for him as well as extremely horrified on his behalf at the end, the bit in the middle just gets me. Turning on Winterfell and all the people who treated you like family (even if you were technically hostage)? Killing kids? Good lord.

3.#1 Favorite moment in all of ASOIAF so far? Why?

When Sam was plotting to get Jon elected Lord Commander. So crafty! He'd been showing all these great signs of really being able to rise to the occasion if it's demanded of him, despite calling himself weak and cowardly. And now it culminated in political savvy and doing the unexpected, carrying out his plan even if he was afraid to do it. He did it because he honestly believed it was best for the Night's Watch. Then when Lord Commander Mormont's crow popped out and Jon won by a landslide I felt so warm and fuzzy and wow! Cue swelling triumphant music! I just found it so awesome that Sam's friendship, loyalty, and overall goodness led to this moment of glory for his friend who also overcame considerable odds to end up at the top. I felt like literally cheering out loud as I was reading this part. Maybe I did.

(Then after a few days I thought about it and the warm fuzzy feeling died away because I realised, this is ASOIAF, a triumphant moment like this is going to bite Jon Snow in the ass, isn't it. And Sam too, since he got the ball rolling. It's going to be downhill from here! But it's still my favourite moment.)

4. In your dream-world, how would you like to see the series end, and why?

Rickon is king of everything, and Dolorous Edd is his Hand.

Yeah, that's not going to happen.

Well, since the most I'm seeing get tossed around is that George R.R. Martin says the ending will be bittersweet, I hope that bittersweet means like the tone found in his Dunk & Egg tales. That's bittersweet enough for me.

I want the remaining Starks (including Jon Snow and all the direwolves) to be reunited. Yeah, things are never going to be the same, but they can help each other heal and find their own brand of happiness!

I want Gendry to get a good ending, even if he's just happily smithing away in obscurity. But this is mostly because I've already seen Joe Dempsie die a senseless, horrible, heartwrenching death on TV and I don't want to do that again.

I want all the Freys to die. Except the ones who were against the Red Wedding and Cleos Frey's remaining son.

I want Asha and Theon and some other people I won't name because it might be a spoiler to hunt down Roose and Ramsay Bolton, flay them, and then turn them into boots. But not wear them because that's gross.

I ship Jaime/Brienne so hard it's not a ship for me anymore, it's an armada, so yeah, seeing that happen in some way would be nice.

I don't care who sits on the Iron Throne in the end. But whoever does, I wish it would herald a big sweeping change for Westeros. Like, more fairness and less crappiness with the way things are done, please. More preparedness for winter to help out the smallfolk. Better management of resources. Better recruitment practices for the Wall. Everyone learning how to work together because they realise they can't stand alone. North, South, Dornish, Ironborn, Wildlings, whatever. I like how Dany abolished slavery. Westeros already abolished slavery, but the sweeping change I'm thinking of is something on that scale. However, I don't like how it bit her in the ass and backfired on the very people she was trying to help.

Rhaegar Targaryen had hinted about doing things differently. He sounds like the kind of guy who really studied statecraft and wanted to do better by his people. Also, from the Dunk and Egg tales, one of the Targaryens learns how to be a better man by living the life of the people he might rule one day. I hope whoever wins this game of thrones has the same thing in mind. Someone who knows that winning the throne means becoming a servant to his/her people.

Comments

Re: Targaryen

[breve.livejournal.com]

Haha, that is amazing! Charles was my very first literary crush, and Calvin was my second. XD

My husband (laughingly) accused me of being in love with all the Baratheon boys last week (and he was so right), so obviously the tradition is still going strong.

Re: Targaryen

[manananggirl.livejournal.com]

Argh, haven't fully woken up! I meant CALVIN O'Keefe :D And yeah, it's hard to get out of the habit of literary crushing! (I feel the same way about the Stark men and Jon Snow. Except Brandon.)