what is dead can never win or die

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Name: Sarah

How did you find out about the community? If it's through an LJ user, please tell us who it is (individual user if possible, not just a community name!): Long hours of ASoIaF related web searches, looking for everything from gifspams to discussions. I happened upon a preview of a post in this community in an ljtops.com search result, but it was locked for members only. So I poked around the info page and became intrigued.

Age: 27

Location: Louisiana, USA

Occupation: Writing tutor (paid), ESL tutor (volunteer) and English undergrad student (I pay them =( )


All About You

1. Describe your ideal house/home. Please go into as much detail as possible, and be sure to include your ideal geographical location in the description!.
Location: I would like to live in the Pacific Northwest near the ocean. Rocky coasts, lots of cool, overcast days, rainy weather, evergreens and whatnot. I've lived most of my life in the hot damp oppressiveness of the American Deep South, and I cannot wait to graduate and get me off to a grad school somewhere cooler.

House: The front door of the house opens into an open space that runs almost the length of the house and roughly half of its depth. A living space with requisite seating and TV stretches off to the right. Directly ahead, a spiral staircase leads upstairs. To the left is the library, which stretches up, open, the entire height of the two stories, complete with little wooden ladders on sliding tracks. Past the library are two offices for myself and my husband. On the opposite side of the house from the library and living area is a kitchen, bathroom, and utility room. The kitchen is massive. Industrial appliances, a huge tub of a sink, a spice rack to die for, walk-in pantry of epic proportions, and an island in the middle, above which dangles a large, metal, rectangular frame where all the cooking utensils hang. On the back side of the house, adjoined to the kitchen wall, is a conservatory/greenhouse for herbs, small vegetables, and other greenery. Upstairs are several bedrooms and baths, and a balcony that overlooks the library.

2. Imagine you're given the classic opportunity: a genie granting you three wishes. What would you wish for? Please be as elaborate as you can. Wishing for more wishes is not permitted!

a) To know everything I can possibly know without going mad. The potential of the human brain is amazing, and I want to know everything! But I also know it would probably break me, so there you go.

b) Telekinesis/telepathy, which I could turn on and off at will (because hearing everyone's thoughts all the time is some combination of madness and eww that I do not want). This combination has always seemed like the ultimate superpower to me. I would power-trip so hard. >.>

c) Transferable happiness. I would like the ability to be happy or even content with my lot, whatever it is, and the ability to make other people similarly happy or pull them out of persistently bad moods.


3. In your life so far, what accomplishment are you the most proud of? Why? You can list more than one if you have trouble deciding. ;)

I'm happy that I've managed to develop a strong and healthy relationship with my husband (and best friend :) ) despite us marrying far too young and facing a lot of uncommon problems (and being divorced for a while :X). It wasn't easy, and we both really screwed up a lot, but we grew and learned and mended the bits that were broken, and I can't wait to see where we go from here.


4. Which of the following is most important to you: Love, Money, Knowledge, Family, Friendship, Adventure, or Pleasure? Which is the least important to you? Please explain why for each choice.

Assuming we aren't going for a Maslow's hierarchy type of ranking... hmm.

In all honesty, I have to rank knowledge at the top, because I have consciously sacrificed all the other things listed in favor of it, to some extent and at one time or another.

Least important is adventure. I may want it more than many of the other things listed, but it is also the thing I would sacrifice first for any of the others, if that makes sense.


5. What's one quote (or passage, song lyric, etc.) that effectively describes you and your values? Explain.

And now, with gleams of half-extinguished thought,
With many recognitions dim and faint,
And somewhat of a sad perplexity,
The picture of the mind revives again:
While here I stand, not only with the sense
Of present pleasure, but with pleasing thoughts
That in this moment there is life and food
For future years. And so I dare to hope,
Though changed, no doubt, from what I was when first
I came among these hills; when like a roe
I bounded o'er the mountains, by the sides
Of the deep rivers, and the lonely streams,
Wherever nature led: more like a man
Flying from something that he dreads, than one
Who sought the thing he loved. For nature then
(The coarser pleasures of my boyish days,
And their glad animal movements all gone by)
To me was all in all.--I cannot paint
What then I was. The sounding cataract
Haunted me like a passion: the tall rock,
The mountain, and the deep and gloomy wood,
Their colours and their forms, were then to me
An appetite; a feeling and a love,
That had no need of a remoter charm,
By thought supplied, nor any interest
Unborrowed from the eye.--That time is past,
And all its aching joys are now no more,
And all its dizzy raptures. Not for this
Faint I, nor mourn nor murmur, other gifts
Have followed; for such loss, I would believe,
Abundant recompence.
--William Wordsworth, "Tintern Abbey," lines 58-88

This sense he captures here of the change between youth and adulthood has never failed to move me… the sense of loss coupled with the blessings of experience, knowledge, and wisdom that are just as precious. These verses are the perfect melding of joy and sorrow, hope and regret. Whenever I think of them, I feel like I am standing there myself (just now, somehow, and never before), barely clinging to the word "girl," not quite a being set apart from the one I was ten years ago, or even twenty, but both irreversibly changed and fundamentally the same. ("If I look back, I am lost.")


6. How do you manage your money? On that note, how important is money/financial security to you? Go into as much detail as you can.

Financial security is very important to me. My husband and I started out nearly a decade ago with some really bad decisions, and are just now recovering from them. I have been diligently working on this for several years, establishing accounts and maintaining them very closely. Being on a track to lifelong academia (would-be professors, both of us), we will never be wealthy, but it is very important to me that we are financially stable, because not knowing where the rent money is going to come from is not a fun place to be.


7. Name (and elaborate on) some of your hobbies. What are your favorite things to do outside of school/the office?

I read. I write a little. I make lists of facts about characters whose stories I never get around to writing. I cook all manner of things and try all kinds of crazy spices in unexpected dishes and feed it to the boy or the cats, depending upon the outcome. I try to learn languages on my own, often with hilarious results. I make lists of ridiculous things. I am obsessed with kittens and big cats and lolcats and cat videos and Maru and sometimes I make my husband look at 10 or 20 pages of icanhascheezburger in one sitting (he is very long-suffering). I imagine and revel in every impossible scenario involving Arya and Gendry ending up in a happy little bundle of rainbows and posies together at the end of the series. I play computer RPGs... mostly Bioware games like Mass Effect, Dragon Age, KotOR and the like. I played WoW seriously for six or seven years, but I've broken away from that recently so I guess it doesn't count much anymore.


8. Name three things you are afraid of. Explain.

a) Spiders. This might seem a stereotypical answer, but they send me into a blind panic whenever I see one. I grew up in the deep woods and I can handle just about any other kind of creepy crawly girly fear inducer, but spiders make me want to die and set everything on fire all at once.

b) Academic failure. I hold myself to a very high standard. I set very high goals. I've met every one of them so far, but somehow this has just made me even more afraid to fall short in the future. I will likely be involved in the academic world for the rest of my working years, and I am very afraid that a misstep could damage my career prospects.

c) The unknown. The ultimate unknown for me is death, and a lesser unknown is darkness. It isn't what will happen after death or what lurks in the darkness that frightens me. It's the not knowing. That drives me crazy. And little silly things, like waiting for an exam -- not because I'm afraid I won't do well, but because I don't know what's on it. :E


9. Name (and elaborate on) your top three BEST and top three WORST qualities (personality-related, not physical). Please answer as fully as you can, as this is an important question.

Best:
a) I like my ability to adapt to almost any situation. I will freak the heck out if there's a spider on my hand, but in almost any other crisis I am level-headed and can be quite bossy if the need arises for bossiness. :P I am just as capable and comfortable leading as I am following, and I generally think quickly and perform well under pressure.

b) I am very, very determined (*coughstubborncough*). Once I've set my mind to something, I'm going to see it though, regardless of nay saying or temporary setbacks. I often take a very long time to come to a decision (see "Worst:C" -.-), but by the time the decision is made I have generally weighed every possible option and outcome and have absolute confidence in the decision.

c) I am very open-minded, and I love hearing and reflecting on differing opinions. I grew up in a pretty strict, closed-minded family, all set in their ways and intolerant to other religions, races, and political views, and I decided very early in my teenage years that their outlook did not work for me at all. I'm still quite opinionated myself, but no one in the world is obliged to share my views or values.

Worst:
a) Procrastination. My god, do I procrastinate. Here is how it goes: have four papers due the last week of the semester, each 10-20 pages and requiring fairly extensive research. Do I start writing them eight weeks in, when we've covered quite enough material to start building my case? Or a few weeks later, when finals are on the horizon and the library is actually inhabited? Of course not. If I'm done the night before they are due, it's a freaking miracle. The one thing I do ahead is the research. I have my topic, my sources, my backups… I just wait forever to put it all together.

b) Rambling. Look at this application. Look at it! My email address was a huge joke when I first created it: it starts with "succinctity." I have never been called succinct in my life. ._.

c) Initial Indecisiveness. I freak out when I look at menus. I changed my major four times in my freshman year because I couldn't decide what I wanted most. I've married the same man twice (the first time, I wasn't convinced yet). Once I pick something and know for certain it is what I want, there is no swaying me. It's just that the getting there can sometimes take a very long time and become pretty frustrating for people close to me.


A Song of Ice and Fire Related

1.Who are your favorite three characters in the series? Why?

Just... three? Really? Gaahh.

Okay...

a) Arya. I love her. I love her. I don't even know how to describe this. Martin's voice for her chapters is so distinct... at once disturbing and endearing, and I love it, the little quirks of language that are so Arya ('she slapped his stupid hand away'). She is tenacious, resourceful, and strong and so very broken. I want so much for her -- I want her to feel safe, I want her to know happiness, I want her to feel, I want Gendry to come find her, I want her to find Nymeria, I want her to find her brothers, I want her to find herself again. I don't feel anything like this for any other character. I just... connect with her in some way I can't explain.

b) Eddard. Strong, melancholy, dutiful, honorable, tragic Eddard. He breaks my heart. He is the one character that I can point to and say, "This is a truly good man." So good, but so foolish. I would love him less if he betrayed his honor, but his pride and naivete; brought so much harm to so many people, especially those he wanted most to protect. He mirrors Dany in a lot of ways -- so convinced he is right, but often so wrong, and so very doomed. They are both at once the most compelling and the most frustrating of characters to me.

c) Gendry. Ornery, stubborn, loyal, unflinching, and so much just a good, good kid... but so ballsy, too. He is how I imagine Robert if Robert hadn't been brought up believing he shat rainbows. He defies the King's Hand even when he thinks he's a nobody because he believes he has the right of it, follows Arya like an surly-but-devoted puppy, protects the little ones to the best of his ability, defies Arya in turn when he finally finds something he truly believes in. The leaving hurt, because it felt like Arya had finally found someone upon whom she could rely, but it was necessary because at that moment he grew up, and she hadn't gotten there yet. And then there's the whole brooding thing. Gendry could beat Jon in a brood-off any day. I find it to all be completely endearing.

Runner up: Dolorous Edd. Because he's amazing. And he never wins anything (but you won my forever love, Edd *heartheart*).


2.Who are your least favorite three characters in the series? Why?

Hrm. After aDwD, I can no longer say I loathe every Greyjoy ever, but Balon, Euron, Aeron, and Victarian still hover at or near the top of my list because I find almost everything about Ironborn culture (built upon rape, murder, domination, and renamed slavery) offensive and many of their individual actions deplorable. I have the same problem with the Dothraki, but most of them blur together for me a bit given that we only see them through Dany's perspective. Listing all three least favorites from the one house or one culture feels kind of like a cop-out or a ploy to land/not land somewhere (>.>!), so I'll list my next three instead.

a) Ramsay Snolton. I'm a sucker for hating an obvious villain, and he's almost caricature-bad. I can't make myself see anything redeeming or sympathetic in him. [long ramble avoided here by following the spoilers rule :D]

b) Daenerys. This isn't really fair, because I love Dany almost as much as I hate her, but she frustrates me and scares me so very much that she ends up in this category. I think she is brave and smart and passionate, but also short-sighted, immature, under-educated, and selfish. Age of majority or no, Dany still seems so very, very young, and as yet unfit for rule, military talent notwithstanding (she conquers well, but conquering =/= ruling). I am not unconvinced that she will be any less mad than her father. She brushes aside good council and hears only what she wants, justifying behavior in some that she condemns in others, and I cannot find it in me to respect her. She is a threat to everything and everyone I hold dear in Westeros, and as such I kind of want her to just go away. Ahem. Or possibly grow up, open her mind a little, and realize that her batshit crazy brother wasn't the best source of information on... anything. Either would work. As it is, I really fear for what will happen when she reaches Westeros.

c) Ygritte. This is a case of development as much as characterization. Ygritte was a thinly-guised plot device for whom I felt nothing but mild disgust. This could have been a result of the OMGAWKWARD cave sexploits, or perhaps the utterly cliché death scene, or her unappealing brand of know-it-all-ness, or... I dunno. In addition to what I feel is poor development on Martin's part, something about her just plain grates on my nerves.


3.#1 Favorite moment in all of ASOIAF so far? Why?
So many, so, so many!

Okay. Okay... one that really, really sticks out in my mind is Daenerys's taking of Astapor in ASoS. I was devouring the books for the first time, rushing through without paying attention to detail so I was absolutely blindsided by what she did. It was an amazing feeling of jubilation and awe. I still get chills when I read that passage, though I lament the mess that came afterward.

Runner up is Arya and Gendry's tussle at Acorn Hall, because *OTP squeee* and *OMFGSOCUTE* and stuff.


4. In your dream-world, how would you like to see the series end, and why?

Gah^2. There are so many little things I would like to see after the climax of the story!

I would like a thorough explanation of the Others, their origins and agendas, and I would like them to HAVE an agenda, not just be some senseless, dominating evil. I want the full story on the Great Other and R'hllor, because you know that history is fraught with omgdrama. In this world of grey, grey, grey, I want the all-encompassing villains to be grey as well.

I would also be interested in seeing the evolution of the Night's Watch. I would like to see the lands of the Gifts resettled and made fruitful again, each of the castles repaired and occupied by lesser lordlings and their families or even wildlings. I'm rather of the opinion that having their families living in the lands right there near the Wall would make the guardsmen more willing to defend it with their lives. There's still the problem of the Wall having been the dumping ground for the criminals of the realm, but some sort of hard labor sentence (cutting down all those trees against the Wall and building some stuff, for a start) with potential for pardon after X years might work.

The part of me that adores an unrepentantly dark tragedy would love to see Daenerys succumb to a slow descent into madness and Jorah be the one to end her life. (It makes me feel terrible just typing this but it would be shivery and delicious.)

As for the big picture of the ending, I don't know what I want. I know I will be both happy and unhappy with the "bittersweet" ending George has implied we will get. And I know I would hate it if he made everything sunshine and daisies in the end... but part of me does want everything tied up nicely with neat little bows. >.>

I kind of want the Seven Kingdoms to become seven kingdoms again. I want Daenerys to use her dragons and armies to save Westeros rather than invade it. She, Jon, and Tyrion must needs die in the process, insists my inner tragedy whore. In the aftermath, we would see Arianne as the Queen of Dorne, Willas King in the Reach, Tommen King of Kittens and the Westerlands (screw you, Maggy), Sansa Queen of the Vale with her menacing and disfigured sworn shield at her side, Edmure King in the Riverlands with Roslin, Gendry King of the Stormlands with his warrior-assassin not-a-queen. And Bran King in the North, slowly grooming Rickon for succession. This most of all, and not... that future that was implied for Bran later. Dream world, remember?

Barring all that, I would like to see Gendry legitimized and on the throne, though the catch-22 of semantics messes everything up (only Stannis would foreseeably legitimize Gendry [Dany and Tommen never would, and if R+L=J is true then legitimization by Jon would mean nothing because Robert's reign was just a blip in the Targ dynasty] and if he did then it would place Gendry before Stannis in the line of succession, making Stannis not king and therefore removing any power he had to legitimize in the first place and... wait, unless the kingdom remained split and there was a Stark King in the North, but then... *head spins*).

Okay. God, this is long. Done now. Thank you for your patience. <3

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